My Secret Admirer

I have a kind of fun throwback this week. I’ve been cleaning out my room and happened to find a bunch of letters I received in college. Some were from pen pals, others from my ex, and even more from my mom and roommates. This was one that I had completely forgotten about receiving my first Valentine’s Day at school. I had a secret admirer who didn’t reveal himself until years later, even though I kind of had a hunch back when I received it.

The letter was so beautiful that I got his permission to publish it! Enjoy the only letter I have gotten from a Secret Admirer before (But you only really need one, right?):


 

Dear Krista,

“Life is divided into three terms — that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us know from the past to profit by the present, and from the present to live better in the future.” — William Wordsworth

This quote has always been of inspiration and of compassionate intelligence to me, so I hope sharing it with you will be of some great meaning and benefit you in the same ways, and in those which it has not. Normally, Valentine’s Day is not a day which I find overly exciting, however, I find myself giddy with excitement like a young child before Christmas morning! Hopefully this letter reaches you as the first and most enjoyable of the day, but I most certainly hope you enjoy the rest of this special day’s treats. Ideally I would have hoped to personally deliver this letter to you; however, that would defeat the purpose of being a secret admirer! Either way, this should wake you with a smile.

I find you to be the most intoxicating girl I have ever met, you are beautiful in ways I never thought possible, and unique in every way I thought impossible, and I get drunk on your unique personality and genuinely beautiful smile. This makes you a very special girl, and not one to be taken lightly. As I hope to show you through this letter, I do not take you lightly, I do not take you for granted, and I do believe you are everything that every man should be looking for in a lady. You are a strong, independent woman, of that I am sure, and I would never want to stand in the way of your hopes and dreams, especially because they are a prominent piece of your personality. I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever known, you are sweet, caring and kind, and sometimes I think you might be too much of some of these for your own good. Your sarcasm is hilarious, it makes me laugh uncontrollably and it is one of the reasons I cannot get enough of you, it it such an unconventional trait for you to have, or so I think, and I find that it throws me for a twist every time it shines through. My favorite thing of all, though, is undoubtedly, oh wait, I cannot tell you such a thing, because it would give me away and this is most certainly a “secret admirer’s” letter. I hope by now you are blushing and in deep thought of who this mysterious person could be that is writing you such an adoring, shall we call it, a love letter? Hmmm? Why not, it is Valentine’s Day and I do love who you are, as well as care for you no matter what, you will always be someone I cherish, because you are an incredible person. If every girl were more like you, this world would be a better place, and that is something I respect you for most sincerely.

If this were another letter, I would begin to share with you some of the most treasured times I have shared with you, but I am afraid that if I would do so now it would certainly reveal my mysterious identity and this “secret admirer” letter would be ruined. I cannot see myself doing that for obvious reasons, one being what an amazing job I have done thus far, and the second most important being the effort I have put into said “amazing job” (unsure of why I put quotations around that, ait sort of makes me seem like I am mocking my effort and that in reality this letter is in no way amazing, haha). With all that being said, and with using my first and last “haha, or lol, or any other common poor writing technique/slang terminology,” I would like you to know that I am smiling most endearingly at the thought of all the great times I have spent with you, and I hope that in your heart you too are smiling, if not because of the times we have shared together, than because you should read the rest of the letter knowing that you have made me a better and happier man.

Lastly Krista, I know that you are knowledgeable in the field of writing, so please do not critique me too harshly, please and thank you!

With pleasure and love,
Your Secret Admirer

PS — within the line beginning “Lastly” there is a clue as to who I am, if you figure it out and you believe me to be the writer of this letter and you present said clue to me from that line, I will have no choice but to tell you the God’s honest truth as to whether or not I wrote it, but just to be clear, you must know the correct clue that I have given you, and you must be sure of it. Therefore, you should not present the accusation of me being the “secret admirer” as a question, more so as a statement and the correct clue as your reasoning.

“I told her, how he pin’d and ah!

The low, the deep, the pleading tone,

With which I sang another’s Love,

Interpreted my own.

She listen’d with a flitting Blush,

With downcast Eyes and modest Grace;

And she forgave me that I gaz’d

Too fondly on her face!”

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Kohr’s Older Brother

As I mentioned in my last post, my friend and I were on Tinder looking for a double date while we were at the beach.

Luckily for us the Serial Killer that was supposed to meet up with us didn’t end up working out, so we moved on to the next one. We ended up chatting with someone in the police academy who was actually really polite and said he would be respectful of our wish to just meet up for ice cream. We sent him the same address we were going to meet the last guy at since both of us were dying for a Kohrs cone at that point. He said he could be there at 11:20, but once again his friend “canceled” at the last second. It’s cool, we thought, we just want to make one new friend by the end of the trip.

This guy seemed like he’d have some good stories for us, so we threw on our matching sweatshirts in true bestie style and headed to the boardwalk.

We waited a few extra minutes for the guy and began to get grumpy. He was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago — maybe he was standing us up!

“I can’t wait any longer,” I promptly exclaimed. “I’m just going to get my ice cream now and we can just sit and visit with him while he eats his dessert when he gets here.”

Audrey agreed with me and we purchased our cones on our joint credit card. That was when hilarity ensued. There weren’t any seats at the Kohr’s, so we walked across the street to the benches by the Hilton hotel that was about 70 feet from the shop. We had a direct view of the cashier, so we could see when our date showed up.

We people-watched and chatted until Audrey suddenly exclaimed “IT’S HIM!!!”

I whipped my head back to look at the shop and saw a bald man with a scruffy brown beard charge angrily up to the cashier. Before I could even analyze the situation a bus stopped in my line of vision.

bus
That darn bus!

“Are you sure?” I asked. “I didn’t get a good look, but that guy looked like he was quite a bit older than us.”

“No, but I don’t have my glasses on,” she replied. “It looked a lot like our guy, though.”

We waited anxiously for the bus to get a move-on. By the time it pulled out of the stop the man had finished his purchase and was strutting out of the shop with his cup. He seemed to have a new spring in his step, and hurried happily across the street with his ice cream. He was coming for us.

We squealed nervously as he approached. There were a million thoughts running through my mind at this point.

How did he see us from all the way across the street? Why is a 50-something man on Tinder pretending to be 25? Why didn’t he wait for us? Why didn’t he message us that he was here?

He turned the corner into the pavilion area where we were hidden. Audrey and I froze.

I parted my lips to say hello, but he continued to walk toward the hotel doors. He did a double take on his way into the lobby, and to this day I am not sure whether it was because he was actually the man from Tinder or just thinking, “What the heck is wrong with this girl?” because of the startled look I had on my face.

Audrey looked over at me with her spoon in her mouth, floored. “Was that…?”

I shrugged, stunned. He was at least a vague shadow of the man in the pictures. What were the odds someone else who looked like that just happened to get a midnight snack at the same custard shop as us?

What do you think? Did we see the same guy we matched with on Tinder or was he just an older doppelganger? We sent our match a message and never heard back from him — I suppose he will always remain a mystery to us.

Two For Tinder

A trip to the beach wouldn’t be complete without some great date stories — especially since I am trying to keep up my writing for a dating blog!

My best friend has never used a dating app before, so we decided the beach would be a hilarious place for her to try it out to see what she thought… And who better to try it with than me? After all, she had the security of knowing someoneĀ farĀ more embarrassing than anyone else around would be the second girl on her double date, so she could be certain that the boys would all flock to her after seeing my faux pas. Luckily she drove us to the beach, so there wasn’t a chance of me getting into a fender bender in front of my date this time.

On our way to the beach I created a Tinder account filled with pictures of the two of us explaining that we were just going to be at the beach for the weekend and were looking for a double date.

We weren’t extremely picky about our swipes; we sat in the hotel room and giggled as we speed swiped and waited for the swarm of messages to come in. After talking, we realized we didn’t have a lot of time for a date, so figured meeting up for dessert would be our best option. I always like to be incredibly honest in my intentions with everyone, so this is what we added to our profile:

tinder

We got a lot of different messages and finally found someone who cut to the chase. He was down for meeting and giving us our precious Kohr Brothers and a good dating story!

Anyway, this particular gentleman will be referred to as “Serial Killer” from now on.

He looked pretty normal in his profile pictures — one was with a friend and the other was playing poker — and he could hold a decent conversation. He gave us his phone number, which we called to plan our meetup. He told us he was at a campground with his friends, but that he was just leaving and would love to meet up with us at the boardwalk for ice cream. After a few minutes of researching we determined that he seemed harmless, so gave him the address of the shop and prepared to go meet him.

Until we got the text.

He messaged us on Tinder saying that he was stuck in traffic (At 11:30 PM. Really?) and wanted us to go meet him there instead. We quickly declined, so he began to push the matter. He said his friend had canceled but that he still wanted to meet up*. We told Serial Killer that it was alright and to take care. He messaged us saying he was sorry and that he could tell we were mad at him (First, we clearly weren’t; we just were mildly creeped out. Second, how could we really be “mad” at someone we didn’t even know? Major red flag).

It didn’t stop there, though. He told us he was going to park his car on the side of the road, and that it would “only” take him about 20 minutes to run to the boardwalk from there. What the heck?! We didn’t even know what to think at this point. Why would a random guy we talked to for no more than 5 minutes want to come meet us for ice cream so badly? Something wasn’t right, so we confirmed with him that we wouldn’t be meeting up, and then blocked the profile.

This is one of many reasons I don’t ever meet up with people right after meeting them online. You never know who could be on the other end of a computer screen, so it’s best to find out someone is a bit creepy before giving them too much information on you… Better safe than sorry, right?

Our story doesn’t end here, though. We did find someone to meet up with us for a double date, but I’ll save that story for next time.


*In hindsight it was funny to see how many guys told us they would bring their friend to meet up with us for a double date, only to have the friend “cancel” at the last minute. Guys, was this planned from the get-go, or do you think the friend genuinely backed out? I can’t figure that one out.

Virginia Beach

My best friend had an extra day off work recently so we decided to take a trip to the beach to kick off summer. Since we live in the DMV we picked Virginia Beach, as it’s a bit livelier than the family beaches in Delaware and we figured it would be a fun place to go out dancing and collect stories.

We left around nine on Saturday morning, as I have a million routines to do when I wake up to take care of my POTS for the day. It’s funny how being caught in traffic with your best friend isn’t really a chore — we talk every day, yet we still always have something new to catch up on.

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This kind of texting happens back and forth daily.

We chatted for about five hours until we were finally at the beach! I’ve touched on my illness here and there, but for anyone who is just tuning in or doesn’t quite understand some of what I deal with, I cannot lift much more than 2 pounds at a time without facing a lot of pain for days after. This meant poor Audrey had to be the bellhop with our bags and kind of take charge carrying the heavy things to the beach. This information will be important to take note of for a story I’ll tell later on.

We stayed in a pretty standard beach hotel that was right on the boardwalk. I’m not sure how many of y’all have been to VA beach before, but there are some kind of sketchy areas there… Our hotel happened to be right on the brink of sketchiness which made for some interesting moments.

Now that I’ve kind of set the scene, you can see what my posts will be about this week and whether you want to come back to hear more — like my ~simple~ lesson on how to be a gentleman, our attempt at a “Tinder Takedown,” and how goofy and fun best friends can be. This week’s to you, beautiful Audrey!

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If you know me even a little you probably know how important I think friends are. After all, they’re the ones who will stick around whether or not a boyfriend works out!