Krista Lauren

Welcome to my first recap of Friends! There will be spoilers, but since everyone and their mom has already seen this show a thousand times over, I don’t feel the need to say that before every review. Soon, everyone in America will have seen the show Friends, and I’ll feel a lot less alone in not getting normal 90s references. Okay, starting my live recap: NOW.

Wow, what the heck is up with everyone’s hair?! I am literally 20 seconds into the show and they all have insane volume and shine. I’ve never seen anything like it! I don’t think their hair is normally like this, but I could be wrong. Go back and watch the episode because this is crazy and they all have to be wigging out. Joey looks like he’s in a 90s punk band or channeling Pete Wentz.

Courtney Cox and Chandler are sitting next to each other and don’t even know they’ll be married one day. Ew, and what the heck is up with the way Courtney treats her brother?! I remember them being all creepy in another episode. “You OK, sweetie?” she asked as she gently touched his hand. I do not like the chemistry between these two actors. They make Friends have a hint of Thrones, if you catch my drift.

OMG. Ross is already complaining about being single. “I don’t want to be single, I just want to be married again.” What is his deal?! He’s already blown through a wife (or two, or three) by the first episode?! Yikes. I know he’s known for getting married a bunch, so I guess they needed to get the first out of the way before the series even begins.

Rachel just walked in in a wedding dress! Ahh I don’t know anything about this storyline. Was she married once already too? She might be perfect for Ross if she can knock out a couple others before she and Ross get together.

Courtney Cox’s name is Monica! That’s right. I don’t know why I forgot that. Now she’s wearing an outfit with suspenders. I feel a little weird about them.

We’re watching the friends watch television while Rachel shrieks on the phone with her dad. It’s kind of boring right now tbh, but I’m hoping this episode is all just telling us about the characters and stuff.

Joey is hitting on Rachel. I have a feeling these characters will all kind of cycle around dating each other. It’s not very realistic that they’d all be able to be friends after that, but I think it’s going to be one of those kinds of shows.

Phoebe is my favorite character right now. She pulled out a bunch of her eyelashes on accident and then sang a song from The Sound of Music while Rachel was having a panic attack. I think she’ll be a pretty funny character, but not everyone’s cup of tea.

Rachel is crying on the phone now. I honestly am so annoyed at the show and it’s not very funny yet. Since it’s the pilot I’m going to keep pushing forward, though. I think it’ll get good.

Monica is on a date with a guy who looks really familiar. Some sort of nineties dad or something who is kind of a doofus in a show. I can’t for the life of me remember what movie, but it was something along the lines of The Parent Trap.

Ew! Ross is complaining AGAIN. He’s so whiny. I know I’m being harsh because his heart is broken, but I told you it was going to be hard for me to give Ross a chance. Ok, calm down Krista, he’s grieving. Ew!! But now he’s talking about wanting to ask a girl out again right after ending his marriage. “Even if I had the nerve, who would I ask?” ROSS. TAKE A BREAK FROM WOMEN AND LET YOUR HEART HEAL. Goodness gracious; he really cannot just be by himself.

Monica is kissing the 90s dad in front of everyone now. They all watched creepily and it felt like they were acting for a play on Broadway with their exaggerated stances. Then Joey of all people tries to act cool when she comes back to the table to join them. I think he’s a player and supposed to be the “cool guy” on the show, but he’s just giving me brunette Draco Malfoy vibes. His outfit is really cringeworthy too. Black pants and some sort of jeans-y fabric muscle shirt. I need to keep in mind this is the 90s and maybe he was cool and stylish. I just have a hard time believing it.

Now Monica is upset that it turns out the 90s dad is a player. Phoebe decides to offer to rub her feet in a coffee shop, and Ross stares at her longingly. SHE’S YOUR SISTER, ROSS. Please don’t act like the Lannisters.

EW!!! Ross is trying to flirt with Rachel. Get away from her!! He’s making me so mad right now guys. I can’t. NOW HIS ARM IS AROUND MONICA. NOW SHE KISSED HIM BEFORE BED LIKE IT’S NORMAL. I wish I could make this font bigger because I was just double shocked and am not well.

Ew. He’s splitting an Oreo with Rachel now. Okay actually he’s being a little cute. He’s saying he used to crush on her in high school. I didn’t really realize they knew each other before. Wait, no, he ruined it. He just asked if it would be okay if he asked her out sometime. Ross, you need to take some time for yourself, don’t bring Rachel into your messy life right now! No wonder he has been married six million times; he forces himself to move on way before he’s ready. He was literally just talking about how he didn’t know who he’d ask out and that was when it was obvious it could be Rachel.

Chandler was barely in this episode and I think I remember liking him in a few episodes. He was just kind of boring, but got a dumb joke at the end.

Hmm overall not impressed with this first episode of Friends, but I think most of us usually feel this way about the pilot of a TV show. To their credit, they need to set all the characters up and start the storyline somewhere. In my defense, they made Ross really freaking annoying in the first episode, so if this trend continues it’s maybe not my fault for knowing spoilers. Who is your favorite character on Friends, and if the answer is Ross, please explain and defend him. I’m going to give this show a season and see what it’s all about, then we’ll go from there.