Colton “The Virgin Bachelor”

Sigh, this season of The Bachelor is really going to be a drag. The ironic part this time around, though, is that despite Colton being a virgin, the biggest theme is going to be sex. How much do I care about Colton’s sex life? Not. At. All. I don’t care what he does or doesn’t do, and I certainly don’t need to be hearing about it over and over again. Something that bothers me about some of the conversation around Colton is that people are relieved to find that Colton isn’t weird — he just hasn’t found the “right person” yet. Some girls went into the season wondering what was wrong with him, and about a quarter of the introductions revolved around sex.

One point I am going to drill home in this, and a few upcoming blog posts, is that sex is a verb. It’s not an adjective you use to describe someone, and its presence or lack of is not going to drastically change someone’s personality. Sex is an action. It shouldn’t be a word that is used to completely define someone. ABC clearly disagrees, though. They’ve promoted him as “the first virgin bachelor” and have been hyping this entire season around the fact that Colton has yet to sleep with a woman. In the months leading up to the show they have made an ad based off of The 40-Year-Old Virgin, sent him on interviews where he has to explain over and over again why he hasn’t had sex yet, and have been using phrases like, “what does he have to lose?” constantly referring to his v-card.  It honestly feels like The Bachelor franchise has just completely been exploiting Colton for his [lack of] sexuality. He poses in next to nothing, then is filmed showering and rubbing himself all over while the camera slowly and awkwardly pans from his face to his waist. He excitedly says that yes, he might lose his virginity to one of these girls, and that he had been ready to give it to Becca Kufrin, but his time just hasn’t come yet.

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Photo Credit: ABC

It bothers me that Colton has been completely playing up the virgin thing with the network and is still going along with it as his primary storyline. At some point wouldn’t you get fed up with the narrative and just scream at the producers, “Yes, I am a virgin, but let’s move on from that! I also love dogs, football, The Chargers, and hiking.” There are six billion other things they could be talking about, yet every other scene involves yet another crack at Colton or Chris Harrison asking if he feels like “less of a man” for being a virgin. Like, what the hell?! Imagine if he asked one of the bachelorettes that. We would all be up in arms saying that her sex life does not define her worth as a human being. Rude, Harrison.

I’m predicting that this is going to be one of the lowest-rated seasons of The Bachelor. I really really hope I’m wrong, because I don’t want to be wasting every Monday night for the next 13 weeks, but unless they can find another topic to discuss, they’ve lost me entirely. I already can’t take it anymore and we’ve only had one episode. If this season goes as I think it will, ABC will need to reevaluate how they choose a lead next season if they want to gain a larger fanbase. Instead of choosing someone based on one thing, they will need to find people who are dynamic and have depth, then bring that out on camera. We love watching people with big personalities find love, and I’m not really for this whole cheering for a man to lose his virginity narrative. It feels incredibly creepy, invasive, and frankly, just downright boring. Here’s to hopefully learning more about Colton’s personality next week, and in the meantime enjoying some of the drama that is bound to ensue with twenty women living in the same house, dating the same guy.

Just Another Day In Paradise

Those of you who know me likely know all about my experience with America’s Next Top Model. I’ll give a brief summary for my new followers who don’t know about it.

Basically, I tried out for ANTM several years back, and ended up making it pretty far. Far enough to make top 25, but not enough to make it on the actual show. Anyway, I got to go to New York and meet with some of the casting directors there and made a few friends along the way. This has opened some interesting doors for me to go to exclusive events I otherwise might not even know about. I will save some of those stories for another day, though.

I recently got an email from someone with ANTM which informed me that the stars from Bachelor in Paradise would be coming to the DC area on Friday and Saturday. They were fundraiser events for Lymphoma, so I decided I might as well go check it out one day.

The night ended up being super fun! I wore a crazy sparkly dress, which is always a huge plus in my book, and took my mom as my date — protip: moms always make amazing dates.

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My beautiful date. 🙂

This particular night ended up being a great adventure.

I was on a special VIP list, so when I arrived and checked in the coordinator took us to the front of the line to get a photo with the whole cast, then we were escorted to a little private booth near the red carpet. We watched other guests filter in and enjoyed drinks while waiting for the photo op to finish.

After they were done with taking photos with fans, I ended up getting to spend some one on one time with a few cast members during their break. Everyone was really nice, (A few were really drunk — I’m looking at you, JJ!) and I was able to snag some pictures with most of the people I met.

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Joshua was a major cutie. Here he is getting ready to offer me a rose.

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You can usually charm me by making me laugh.

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I was actually really pleasantly surprised to get a rose from him. Josh was a really sweet, genuine gentleman.
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Proof that I may be goofy, but I am also hilarious.
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Posing with my second “first impression rose.” This was definitely my favorite one!
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In case you missed my last post, JJ was the first to give me a rose.
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I would have loved one from Jared too, but I won’t be greedy!
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Joe acted the exact way you would have expected. Also, he was definitely standing on his tiptoes for this photo, hehe.
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Ashley I. was super sweet. I feel like she has a really good heart (And is incredibly beautiful!).
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Lauren and I really hit it off and talked about dating and fashion.

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The newly engaged Jade.
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Getting a photo with the whole crew… The guys were NOT happy that I was taller than them in heels.

Today’s Lesson: The Bachelor crew is pretty chill and does, in fact, know how to put on a good cocktail party.

He’s So Bad, But He Does It So Well

Well, I met one of the token Bachelor bad boys last weekend (I will write more about the event another day).

I was also lucky enough to have photos taken while getting my very first “first impression rose” from The Bachelor franchise.

No, I did not get a rose from the ever popular and sweet Jared. I do speculate, however, that he is seeing someone now. From the light investigative work I did after the event I might even say that he could be with Tenley from the Bachelor family, but something tells me that she wouldn’t be that cruel to her lovely friend to Ashley I.

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Why didn’t you give out a rose, Jared?

I lucked out and charmed the villain JJ Lane. Granted, he seemed fairly drunk, so my jokes were probably at least 5Xs funnier to him than they should have been, but I’ll take it. The conversation went something like this:

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“So I just met you, and this is crazy, but please accept this rose.”
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“Oh, I know all about you and your antics, JJ.”
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“Come on, Krista, please just give me a chance.”
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“You are the most hilarious girl I’ve ever met, and I would love to get to know you more.” (Or something along those lines 😉 )
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“Oh, fine. I’ll give you a shot.”
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Looks like JJ is still as smooth as ever with the ladies.

JJ actually ended up being really nice, and I enjoyed getting to chat with him for a bit. I even had a drink with him while I was there, (His eleventh beer, according to him, and a sparkling water for myself) and got to learn a bit about him and the show. He was a perfect gentleman, and meeting a celebrity always reminds me that you really can’t judge someone based off of what you read or see about them in the media.

What will come of mine and JJ’s newfound romance, you ask?

Well, we ended up saying that we will see each other again, even if it’s just in our wildest dreams.