The Past Isn’t Greener

This is a letter I want to “send” to the couple of exes who still aren’t over us, but I want anyone who can’t get over an ex to let this resonate with you too. Everyone deserves a fair chance to find love, and thinking about your past isn’t going to help you move towards the beautiful future you want.


Dear Ex ,

You’ve always wanted what you can’t have. Happiness was always just one short leap away — until you took the plunge and missed.

The grass is always greener on the other side. You tried so hard to get me to date you, and when you finally had my heart being with me wasn’t what you had pictured. I’m not perfect, and that’s okay, but perfection is what you often strive for.

Now that we’re not together anymore you feel like you made a mistake breaking up with me. I wanted to write you this letter to let you know that you didn’t. Even though I wanted nothing more than to keep you at the time, deep down I think I always knew you weren’t really mine. To all the guys who have ever dumped me and regretted it — I would have eventually gotten the courage to leave. We weren’t right for each other. You are smarter than you think.

I really hope this letter gives you closure and helps you move on. Just because we weren’t a good fit doesn’t mean you don’t deserve someone who will love you the same way — or even better than I did. There are so many amazing, kind, thoughtful, and genuine girls in the world that you will surely find others who will steal your heart. When you find “the one” girl you hope to keep, treat her well. Don’t expect perfection and laugh at her flaws instead of criticizing them. Embrace your differences and take them as an opportunity to learn from each other and grow. Don’t compare her to me. Comparing people really is comparing apples to oranges. You have a tendency to idealize our relationship and only look at the beautiful parts we left behind — don’t forget that we were deeply flawed. Don’t forget that I am a human being, which means the perfection you remember is very skewed.

Finally, don’t be afraid to give away your heart again. Just because I broke it doesn’t mean every girl will. I’m not powerful enough to shatter your heart permanently; it will surely heal, and one day you’re going to meet someone who fits with you so perfectly that your heart will finally feel like it’s home. I was just a small story in your journey to find love.

Even though you aren’t in my life anymore I still care about you, want the best for you, and even pray for you when you cross my mind. I still don’t want to be friends — we both have enough of those already — but I want you to know that you can, and will, be happy with someone else. I know it hurts sometimes to see me with someone new. This is actually amazing, though, because I was always the one in our relationship who felt too much. If my heart can heal from something I thought would destroy me, yours surely will too.

Wishing you nothing but the best,
Your Ex Girlfriend

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Today’s lesson: `Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Some girls may break your heart, but one day someone amazing is going to just stick. Keep trying until you find her. She is your forever — not me — so don’t waste your time wondering about us anymore. We have some great memories together, but imagine having someone to make memories with who will be by your side for always. That’s who your heart will beat fast for.

Catching Fire

He was my hardest goodbye.

Our time together was short, but it felt like we had known each other for a lifetime.

I’m not sure if we’re having an extended honeymoon stage or if he’s just as amazing as I think he is, but I think it’s the latter. His light has me captivated and we are burning blindingly bright.

When you’ve been badly burned before you try to stay away from flames. They scare you and you know from experience that even though they burn so beautifully bright, that if you get close enough to touch them they can hurt you. A burn is one of the most painful things your heart can experience — even after it heals parts of it remain numb. You have scars from the fire when it’s all fizzled out and you are suddenly surrounded by darkness. At first the pitch black sensation is claustrophobic and suffocating. After awhile, though, you get used to it. You realize you aren’t as alone as you feel and that everything is going to be alright.

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When you finally see a spark fly again it startles you. At first it starts off small and you are intrigued. You get close to the beautiful shimmer and all of a sudden you see it turn to flames. It’s captivating, breathtaking. Before you know it there is another fire burning. You finally realize what you have done. You have trusted this new fire to keep itself in line and not burn you. It’s a huge risk you’re taking, but if it keeps you warm and takes care of you it will be worth it.

You begin cautiously, putting your hands up to the fire to warm them, and quickly soften enough to dance around the flames. You let your guard down. You will either get badly burned or have the most beautiful story of your life. You pray it’s the latter, but in the meantime you throw caution to the wind. Because right now your heart has a warm and comfortable glow. This is falling in love.