Fast Five: Saying Hello

There are so many questions people ask me about dating or using apps that I decided to begin writing about the more popular ones.

Today I am going to focus on the twentysomething men and what not to do when reaching out to a female. These are a few things that I personally think guys should avoid doing on dating apps:

  1. Do not under any circumstance find a girl you see on a dating app on Facebook and “friend” her. This feels like such a violation of privacy and I will delete your request and swipe left on your profile. Be patient, sometimes we need a few days to respond. Which leads me to…
  2. Girls get a lot of messages on dating apps — like, dozens every day. Which means it can be difficult to respond to each and every one of them if you get buried in the mess. If a girl doesn’t reply to your message, politely send a follow-up and then move along to the next one.
  3. Don’t start conversations with just a short, “Hey.” It doesn’t give very much to respond to, and somehow doesn’t feel like you’re as interested as some of the other guys who craft more thoughtful openings.Screen Shot 2016-06-10 at 3.35.41 PM.png
  4. It isn’t a great idea to open a conversation with asking someone out for drinks that night right away. I prefer someone to get to know my personality a little bit better before going out, as I don’t like to be judged completely on my looks. It is also nice to plan at least a few days in advance — I don’t think many people are going to be free the same night you ask them to go out. I also have a reason I don’t think girls should accept an invitation like that, but I will give that in my next “tips” post.
  5. And finally, be respectful to people. I’ve been offered unappreciated “goods” on some of my accounts or called nasty names for not replying fast enough. Please try to remember that there is a person on the other end of the screen you are talking to, and that they deserve the same kind of respect you hope to be treated with. There are always a few bad seeds, but overall I believe most people are good.

Girls — do you all agree with these tips or am I mistaken about some of them?
Guys — have any of these techniques ever worked for you? I’d love for you to prove me wrong.


Shoot me a message on Facebook or write a comment on one of my posts to get your burning dating questions answered!

What’s The Buzz On Bumble?

I downloaded Bumble this week after several people recommended it to me.

For those of you who don’t know what the app is, it’s basically like Tinder, but instead of either party reaching out with a message, the female has to be the first to communicate. If she doesn’t send a message in the first 24 hours, the connection expires.

One funny thing I’ve noticed about Bumble is that there are a lot of guys using it. Like, I ran into 8 people I knew in the first 15 minutes of using it! And these are guys who are my friends outside of the dating app — there were even more that I recognized from Tinder, Hinge, etc. (Because I’m apparently all over the place.)

At first I thought Bumble would be kind of lame. My prejudgment of the app was that guys who were afraid to ask girls out on their own would use it and that I would really have to take the reins and lead the conversation.

I decided to take my preconceived notions off the table, though, and go into the app with an open mind. Bumble ended up proving me wrong.

Screen Shot 2015-12-20 at 4.56.59 PM

After using Bumble for almost a week I’ve decided it’s actually one of my favorite apps. Here’s why — there’s something on dating apps I like to call “swiper’s regret.” This happens when I match with someone before really reviewing their profile, then realize they’re kind of a creeper. It’s unfortunate having to tell a guy that you’re not interested right off the bat, and it’s a nuisance umatching a bunch of people after looking into them further. Bumble allows a female to do her swiping, then take a closer look before having an exchange with someone.

A pro for guys is that it’s simply more efficient for a girl to reach out and show that she is interested. A twentysomething girl with a dating app is bound to get anywhere from dozens to hundreds of messages that are difficult to sort through, and cannot always reply to every single person who reaches out — it would become a full-time job and dating apps are supposed to be simple.

A lot of guys I know complain about how so many girls don’t even bother replying to their messages. Bumble makes it easy on guys so they can just quickly swipe right, then wait to see if the girl is actually interested in having a conversation.

 

Overall I’d give Bumble a good review for ease of use, efficiency, and quality of matches. What do you think of the app if you have used it? Do you agree or disagree with what I observed so far?