Holding Up A Hookup

I went on one of the most hilarious dates in awhile last week.

Any of you who really know me know that I don’t do hookups. I’m pretty open about that, and have that information on all of my online profiles, just to be super clear before anyone even sends me a message so they know that they’re not going to have a fling with me.

Tinder has a hookup reputation, but I honestly think there are just so many people on there that not everyone is looking for a strictly physical relationship. Most of the guys I have met up have actually seemed to be quite the opposite; many of them are super fast to try to DTR as something serious (I’m also not having that, haha).

Anyway, this was the first fellow who was really not on the same page as me. He must have not read my bio whatsoever because he basically told me I was sexy (lies! I know what I am and it’s closer to “cute”) and that we should go back to his place.

I had to explain that I’m not into that, and after he pushed it a lot more I told him that I would just end up frustrating the heck out of him, and that I wasn’t going to change my values for anyone; I told him we were just definitely not a good match.

He immediately shut down and asked the waitress for the check as soon as he could get her attention. He told me that he didn’t want to seem like a jerk, but that we didn’t really have a reason to stay.

It was really funny how quickly the conversation fizzled out after we had been having such a normal time before. He said it was a shame that we didn’t have a chance at working out, as he had enjoyed our date, and that I would regret not taking him up on his offer.

Today’s lesson: Always be honest with what you’re looking for with online dating. Although it can be an awkward conversation to have, you get better at it (Trust me, I don’t feel uncomfortable talking about this stuff at all anymore — it just took some practice!) and you save both parties from a frustrating situation. You can go your separate ways and find what you are looking for.

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You Are Wonderfully Made

People’s reactions to my last post inspired me to talk about something that I think is very important.

Your “success” in the dating world does not define your worth.

Your dating life might vary vastly than many of your friends, but one thing is certain:

The inability of someone else to recognize your value does not mean it’s not there. We all have such uniquely beautiful and wonderful things to add to the world, and I think individuals have the ability to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

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I was really surprised to get messages from people trying to console me or make the guy who turned me down sound like a jerk. He just wasn’t into me. Honestly, it’s not a big deal and really doesn’t reflect anything on his or my character. Most people you meet won’t be a love connection and that is perfectly fine. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, and my hope is that there is just one very special person who will work out for the long run.

I hope everyone realizes that each and every one of you has value greater than your weight in gold. I genuinely believe this, and don’t want you to think you did something that just didn’t measure up for someone if they don’t reciprocate your feelings for them. They just aren’t right for you. You deserve someone who loves and appreciates all that you have to offer!

Today’s lesson: No matter how amazing you are, not everyone is going to want to date or be friends with you. That makes the people you are close to in your life even more special!

In The Zone

One of the first dates I went on when I was single again was with a gentleman one of my best friends set me up with. She told him I was “recently single,” and ready to start casually dating.

Our date went really well — we went out for coffee and shared some laughs. It went so well, in fact, that we decided to hang out longer and get lunch afterwards.

The lunch portion of the date was nice and we enjoyed more conversation outside on a beautiful day. We walked around an outdoor shopping center and made it our mission to pet twenty dogs while we were there. We didn’t quite reach our goal, but I had a nice time regardless.

I finally got dropped off at home, thanked my date for a nice time, and didn’t give the event too much thought — until I realized a few days later that he hadn’t texted me. I hadn’t been on many dates then, so wasn’t sure whether or not he was “supposed to” reach out so soon or not. The other two guys I had been out with had texted that same evening saying that they had a nice time with me, but this fellow was radio silent.

I decided to give it a few weeks and just see if he would reach out again.

He didn’t.

I had genuinely enjoyed our day together and I wasn’t devastated about not being asked on a second date, but I thought that he and I would make good friends — we both like pranks, have a similar sense of humor, and are kind of sassy (And the guy equivalent of sassy, whatever the heck that is), so I decided to text him. I said something along the lines of,

“So it’s totally fine if you aren’t into going on another date, but I had a great time with you last week and would love to be friends if you’d like to hang out again!”

He didn’t reply for a day or two, then finally just said something like, “I am sure I’ll see you around sometime.”

Yep. This guy doesn’t ever want to hang out.

At first I was a bit taken aback; I had never really had to deal with rejection in the dating world before that, and I certainly haven’t ever had anyone tell me they didn’t want to be friends (I could definitely read between the lines).

I realized after all of this that obviously most of the guys I see will not work out. I just need one of them to eventually stick. Just one! I’d say we all have pretty great odds of that happening.

Today’s lesson:  Don’t get too hung up on people who aren’t into you. This goes both ways; you won’t want to be with the majority of people you meet either, and that just makes it even more special when you do find someone you are crazy about who feels the same way about you.

Do you think it’s weird to ask someone you went on one date with if they want to be friends? This brings the age old question to surface: Can guys and girls be just friends? I would answer yes, but have heard it argued both ways.

I Laugh Too Much.

Do you ever laugh so hard you start to cry?

This seems to happen to me a lot. I have absolutely no chill, and when something funny happens I have a hard time collecting myself.

I honestly don’t know if this story is worth a blog post, but I hadn’t laughed this hard in such a long time that I felt like I needed to tell the story.

My date and I decided to play some N64 together last weekend (Sidenote: I can beat any of y’all in Super Smash Brothers. Possibly in Mario Kart as well), so we hopped on the elevator and pushed the button to go to the 13th floor. Another man dressed in some kind of funky costume hurried onto the elevator after us.

He pressed a button as I asked him about his costume, and quickly began to get visibly flustered as the elevator ascended. He frantically pushed another button, and apologized for making us stop twice. He continued to talk about his costume and pressed a third button. Then a forth.

At this point I just lost it.

This guy wasn’t drunk; he was just somehow very confused or terrible at multitasking. It reminded me of the scene in Elf where Buddy pushes all of the elevator buttons because they “look like a Christmas tree.”

We were all able to laugh about it, and my date helped the man figure out how to get to the lobby of the building where he was trying to meet up with his friends.

Today’s lesson: Krista has absolutely no chill when it comes to others embarrassing themselves.

Is it embarrassing to laugh that hard in front of a date? How do you learn to keep your cool in funny situations like that? This might be the only time I will ever say, “I. Just. Can’t.”

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I love getting dressed up and going out with my friends and I like having an excuse to eat as much candy as my heart desires. People watching is always a fun pastime, and I feel like October 31 is the very best day of the year for it.

This year was different because almost all of my best friends are in relationships, so there wasn’t any sort of group costume planned — they all wanted to do couples costumes with their boyfriends.

So naturally I decided I needed to dress up with my bae too.

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Macy and I dressed as Batgirl, and wore matching yellow ribbons in our hair. She was easily cuter than any boyfriend I will ever have (Sorry, guys! Dogs just always trump y’all), and is a great little cuddle buddy to come home to at night.

Today’s lesson: Dogs really are the best friend a girl could ever ask for.

Krista The Cougar

I just had something very confusing happen to me.

Since I’ve been single a lot of people have been trying to set me up with their friends (And sons, and nephews, and brothers, etc. — I guess I am not the only one who likes matchmaking).

Anyway, I was a bit surprised when a particular friend said she had the perfect person to set me up with, but I’m always game for meeting a perfect guy. Or really, a perfect human for that matter, as I would have a million questions about life for them. I’m sure a perfect person would give incredible advice.

Theo James
Theo James is the only man I can imagine being perfect. British, unbelievably handsome, and he sings and plays the guitar.

She set everything up, and we met at a local coffee shop.

Soon after meeting we both realized we didn’t have a lot in common. Why? Because he was twenty! This was a borderline illegal setup.

I’m only 24, and many of the guys I have been talking to have been 28. It’s still just four years, but anyone out of college knows what a difference the age gap this gentleman and I shared looks like versus the age gap of two people in the postgraduate world. He is smack in the middle of his undergraduate experience and cannot yet experience alcohol legally, and I am quickly getting over going to dive bars. He is excited to turn 21 next month, and I think getting carded is just a nuisance (I know I look like I’m 18, but I promise I am legal!).

Luckily he and I both realized the hilarity of the setup, and we ended up talking about my experience at George Mason and how he could manage to have a great study abroad experience like I did. We are friends now, and although I will not be helping him get his hands on alcohol, we might pull a few pranks on his roommates together.

Today’s lesson: Most people are terrible at setting others up; it’s not just me.

Turning The Tables: Review Of A Date With Krista

I told you guys I would be getting someone to review me as a date, and this ended up being perfect. A little background on this gentleman without giving away his identity: We met on OK Cupid and I showed him my blog long before we met up. After going out and hearing about some of the things I am planning to work on, he told me that he would like to write a review of our date. This was great because I was able to be myself without feeling like I’d be analyzed later and ended up getting an honest, accurate review.

I didn’t change anything that he wrote, with the exception of a few very small grammatical things. He wrote such a detailed review that this will have to be a small series of posts to make everything fit. So without further ado, here is what he wrote about me:

I have spent some time over the past few weeks reviewing Krista’s blog, “Single in the Suburbs,” and have decided that it is time to give Krista a little taste of her own medicine. She has been searching for somebody to write a post about what it is like to go on a date with her, and I am here to deliver. This is for all the men past, present, and future that have, or surely will, fall victim to her blog.

Note: Please keep in mind that this is not being written by a Journalism or English student, but by a much lesser individual with a different (minimal) skill set. If you have issues with any spelling, grammar, or content, please take it up with the editor.

A Krista date needs to be completed in three phases in order to properly account for the entire Krista experience. These phases include:

1. Planning. A Krista date must be planned accordingly to get the full Krista effect.
2. The Date. Make sure you have appropriate dialogue and do not say anything to
incriminate yourself (see: “Tinder, Take One!”). Krista likes at least some
of the attention, and believes it is awkward if you speak directly to insects. Noted.
3.  A proper after action review of the date is necessary. It is vital to tell Krista everything that she can improve upon. Do not hold anything back. I jotted down almost three pages of notes at the completion of the date.

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Every date must include some sort of large, messy dessert.

I would love to offer commentary about a few of the things he wrote about (Like, explaining that I’m not as weird as he makes me sound in some of the parts), but I’m going to refrain because this is all written from my date’s perspective and I need to respect that.

I will be posting part two tomorrow evening, so come back for the story then!