If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say

Taking the plunge and making a YouTube channel actually taught me a lot about the importance of kindness and offered a peek into a new corner on the Internet. I feel fine about everything now, and learned that I can handle some not so nice criticism, but it also made me think a little about people who get nasty comments on a regular basis. It has to be so incredibly draining, so I hope to help people realize how much their words can influence another human being, and choose to use them to create more positivity in the world.


When I first started my quest to get Robert to meet Tom Brady I was all kinds of nervous. I hate being the center of attention. I don’t mind putting myself out there when it comes to my heart and feelings, but there’s something that scares me about putting my face and everything out there. I think it’s because I know I can really be clear in my writing, while public speaking hasn’t always been my greatest strength.

I knew some people would be rude about my reach to Tom Brady, but I didn’t anticipate the way I would feel when I did read something nasty. 99.9% of the people who said something about it were so kind, encouraging, and enthusiastic. The ones who weren’t, though, were either incredibly rude or mean, and most of the comments were really unnecessary.

Reaching out to Tom Brady asking him to do something nice for someone I love was not hurting anyone or taking anything away from another person. IF on the very off chance he had been able to do something like this, it would have been because he wanted to take some of his own limited free time to do it. I do understand that a quarterback of a successful team like the New England Patriots is busier than you or I have ever been, but it definitely isn’t up to me whether or not he responds to a video like this. I have seen celebrities do nice things for all kinds of people, even just “big fans” who don’t really have a rhyme or reason. My intention for making this video was lighthearted, and driven by love.

Moving forward, I would love to offer a checklist for people to consider before posting a critical comment online:

  1. Is what this person is doing hurting anyone?
  2. Will your comment contribute anything positive to the discussion, or is it just something snarky that you are thinking to yourself?
  3. How would you feel if someone said that to you?
  4. Finally, is this something you would say to someone in person, or is it just easy to say through a computer screen?

If you don’t have anything nice to say, think really hard about whether or not your comment is productive. Calling someone names, putting them down, or attacking them personally is never okay. Celebrities, models, comedians, and social media personalities all have feelings. There are very real people on the other end of the screen you are communicating through. I understand that they might not know you, but that means you also likely do not know their heart or what they might be dealing with in their lives. It is always safe to use the Golden Rule we all learned in Kindergarten: Treat others the way you want to be treated.

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Today’s lesson: When in doubt exercise self-control. There is a reason Hemmingway said, “The pen is mightier than the sword.” Words can hurt and do a lot of damage. Yes, there are absolutely things that I see online that make me angry and upset. People have opinions different than my own, but at the end of the day that’s okay.  It’s actually what makes the world a better place and able to grow; we can learn so much from people with perspectives different than our own. As long as nobody is being hurt — mentally or physically — if someone does something silly on the Internet that’s their own business. Go to the next website and move on.

Feature Friday: The Face Behind 100 Selfies

If you didn’t catch my feature post last week, go check it out and then come back to this!

We saw how much Stephen cares about his fiancée… But how did she feel about being the center of attention every day for 100 days? I sat down with Kylie to find out and had the pleasure of learning what a sweet and wise young lady she is.

Single in The Suburbs:
It seems like there is a lot of positive feedback from friends about the Kylie selfies. How does it feel being featured every day for 100 days in a row? 

Kylie:
I have loved the 100 Kylie selfies! Initially I was so surprised — my friend was actually the one that showed me the first post and I cried at how sweet of an idea it was. Stephen’s thought that went behind the posts is very special to me. I knew he had been collecting them, but I never knew how he would end up using them. A lot of the selfies I took certainly were not meant to be on social media so they are not as flattering as what I would normally post myself, but that makes it funny and real and meaningful. I love reading the messages that go along with each selfie and seeing how many pictures have been posted — because each day I’m getting closer to marrying him!

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“I love sharing about my day with you after work. ‪#‎100kylieselfies‬

SITS:
What is your favorite thing about Stephen? 

Kylie:
There is so much I could say about Stephen! I’ll name a few favorites. First, he has a quirky sense of humor filled with sarcastic jokes and puns that I absolutely love. Second, he is incredibly passionate and hardworking at everything he does. Third, he loves music just as much (or more) than I do. I love being able to share that with him.

5

“I love figuring out chords and harmonies to new songs with you. ‪#‎100kylieselfies‬

SITS:
How many selfies do you think you have sent to your fiancee?

Kylie:
Ha! I could not tell you. I didn’t even realize I had taken over 100 on his phone, but I definitely think I’m below the 150 mark. I don’t know. I think selfies are weird and funny, especially when they go unnoticed in your photos for a while! And I definitely have forgotten about some of them. It’s cool, though, because I’ve mostly been able to pick out when and where each selfie was taken!

1

“Thanks for your grace in my failings and the constant support to be a better man. I love you. ‪#‎100kylieselfies‬”

SITS:
How does it feel that even strangers (like me!) are happy for y’all and following your “100 Selfies?”

Kylie:
It’s great that people are enjoying the posts and are happy for us! I think it is funny that my face is on all of our friends’ newsfeeds each day and all of a sudden. We have even had some friends call him out on their expectations for this series! Honestly, I don’t mind whether or not the selfies receive a lot of attention on social media. This is something that I personally look forward to and enjoy because it is from Stephen. When I see the selfies, I see us, and not so much of everyone else that is liking and commenting on them.

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“You are more beautiful than the roses you sometimes hide behind. Can you spot Kylie in this picture? ‪#‎100kylieselfies‬ ‪#‎camouflaged‬

SITS:
Are you doing anything as a countdown until the big day? 

Kylie:
I have considered doing a 30 day countdown with Stephen’s selfies and doing the same thing (things I love about him, things I look forward to in the future with him, etc). I am not the only one who sneaks selfies — his are just less consistent! However, I really will have to see if I even have 30 of his. I may be short a few.

4

“I love spending my weekends with you. Unfortunately this isn’t a weekend we get to spend together. But the good news is that this two week stretch will now be the longest time we spend apart until we get married! ‪#‎100kylieselfies‬

SITS:
You and Stephen seem to be very happy together! What kind of tips would you give my single readers for finding someone who is a good fit for them?

Thank you! We really are. Stephen and I were friends before pursuing a relationship.  When I started crushing on him, I wasn’t expecting anything to come out of it and I did not let it affect who I was. I would say that being comfortable with yourself and who you are is absolutely the most important thing. Everything else just happened to fall into place for me. Then at that point, reflect on yourself and who you are. If who you are as an individual aligns with who you are with that special someone, I would say you’re on the right track. Nothing is more special than someone loving and appreciating you for exactly who you are (all the quirks and faults included)!
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This is the first of several “Feature Friday” posts to come. If you ever want to be featured, send me a message or leave a comment on any of my posts; I would love to share the story of you and your boo!