A Friendly Reminder

It’s always funny meeting up with people I haven’t seen in awhile or don’t know very well and having them tell me how great my life has seemed lately. I also love hearing people who I haven’t kept in great touch with have kept up with my writing. Reading is the best gift you could ever give to someone who loves to write.

I just wanted to write a little reminder that Single in The Suburbs is only a little peek into my life, and far from the entirety of it. Yes, I write about some of the more intimate parts — namely my love life and dealing with a chronic illness — but I have so many other stories worth telling that I don’t share on here. I have others’ privacy to respect and I often have little things that happen in the day that aren’t really worth writing about, but that I would tell a friend.

Another thing I wanted to touch on today is the feeling of loneliness. I think life often happens in seasons, and you can’t expect every season to be as amazing as the last one. Sometimes we need to be bored or challenged to grow. In theory it sounds like it would be amazing to be happy all the time, but when I really think about it that wouldn’t make me a very dynamic person. Some of my most relatable writing has come from my deepest pain and greatest struggles. People aren’t meant to be perfect, nor is life.

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Lately I’ve had a season of loneliness. I think part of it is the change in weather and possibly a sudden drop in Vitamin D and outdoors time, but the other half is what has been going on in my life. It can be really hard making new, close friends at this age, and many of my close friendships have been kind of put to the side because of new jobs, moves, and significant others. Somehow I thought as we went into our mid twenties that friendships would be easy, but in reality it feels like college was the simplest time. If a good friend got a new boyfriend who occupied most of her time there were so many other people around to keep me company, whereas now there aren’t so many people who are super close by.

I think a lot of readers think I have things all figured out since I am in a new, comfortable relationship, but a boyfriend has never been my entire source of entertainment or support. Mine is overseas right now, and I don’t get to talk to him a ton or have date nights on the weekend. I am so happy that I met a really great guy, but that doesn’t make my life magically easy or complete. It’s really been hard on me having a long distance relationship like this, especially without having a lot of my girl friends around.

I’m someone who will always need really close friends, even when I am married with kids. I so cherish the time I get to spend with my them — I love girly things like makeup, crafts, baking, rom-coms, and, of course, talking about dating and cute guys. I’m lucky enough to have a few great girls to call my best friends, but relationships have changed and I’m still adjusting to the new dynamic of not necessarily having someone right around here when I need them.

I’m not really afraid to admit that I’ve felt like this because I think we’ve all been here at one point or another. I don’t want to hide the hard parts of my life on here, because I want to be genuine and really connect to the people who have taken the time to read and return to my site. Loneliness isn’t something that is in my life very often, but when it comes about I try my best to be good company for myself and learn new things that I might not otherwise have time for. Lately I have been doing a lot of writing and practicing some magic tricks — a hobby very few people know I really enjoy.


Today’s lesson:
I have talked to a lot of people the past few years who have felt like this, so just know that when you do feel a twinge of loneliness that we’re all in the same boat together. Taylor Swift’s song “22” says it best that twentysomethings can be, “Happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way.” I wouldn’t change being in my twenties for anything right now, even if it can sometimes be a challenge. The people I do have in my life are amazing, and I’m looking forward to making new friends and growing in those relationships, too. Life is sometimes just what you make it, and you can always make time to grow as an individual, even when you do feel a little unsure of your footing.

I’d Say It’s Fall Right Now

Have you ever heard that life comes at you in seasons?

This is comforting, as anytime you are stuck in a “winter” you know spring is right around the corner and that things will have to get better soon enough.

I was lying in bed last night feeling a little bit lonely. I was thinking about how nice it would be to have someone to snuggle up to and just fall asleep with.

Once I thought about it a little more, though, I realized the next few years (Or however long it will take me to date, and then get married to my future Mr. Right) are the only ones I’ll have left as a single lady. Even being exclusive with someone is completely different than being married. I’ve already decided that I don’t want to live with anyone until after my wedding, so I’ll essentially be living up to my “Single in The Suburbs” title until that day.

This is the only time I’ll get to spend every evening at home with my entire family and have my own room. This is kind of the beginning of the end of the first major stage of my life.

Thinking about my life in this way makes my loneliness subside and makes me want to appreciate every day I have left here. Don’t get me wrong; I’m still so incredibly excited for the day I realize I’m spending the rest of my life with someone, but I also cherish the present time I have with my friends and family. Right now I don’t have anyone I need to plan my schedule around, I can easily make plans with friends on a whim, and I can go to bed as early or as late as I want without worrying about another body in my bed.

Life isn’t about just making it through the more difficult seasons; it’s about learning from them and choosing to put on a coat and gloves when it’s winter and brave the cold to still get the most out of your days on this earth.

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Today’s lesson: Having chronic widespread pain has made it really difficult to see the bright side of things sometimes, especially when I’m having a particularly bad day. Even just looking at my little puppy and seeing how she depends on me makes me realize that I have a beautiful purpose for my life, though, and that hopefully one day I can use my pain and suffering to glorify God.