Rose, Bud, & Thorn

Have you ever been in enough pain to make you feel sick?

It’s one of the most annoying things that happens with POTS. Last night I passed out on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I think it’s because I’ve been having some muscle spasm issues in my back lately. EDS makes it really easy to get injured. Partly because of my hypermobile joints; the other part is due to the fact that my body overreacts when it feels a threat — such as a torn muscle.

I’ve been a bit cranky this week because of that and a migraine. I tend to try to suck it up and not complain too much, but that sometimes makes me a little bit grumpy, so I think I need to be a little more vocal about venting and then trying to ignore my symptoms as best as I can.

I’m not feeling much better, but tonight is going to be a turning point so I can have a nice weekend. From tonight until Monday I am going to try my best to focus on the present, not how long I’ve been hurting or wondering when I’ll feel better.

Tonight while I put some heat on my spine, I decided to play a game with y’all that my roommate and I loved in college. It’s called rose, bud, and thorn. It’s a game we played every single night and would giggle about as we recounted the details of the day to one another. The rose of the day is the best part of the day. The bud is something you’re looking forward to most, and the thorn is a not so great moment. Feel free to sound off yours in the comments; I would love if other people played along with me!

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I had 2 roses today. The first was when my mom and I took Macy on a walk. She looked so darn happy, and I love watching Macy chase little butterflies when we go out into a field! My second rose was when Robert called me on the phone after work and we had a kind of silly conversation. It made me smile, and I do think lighthearted fun is the best medicine.

My bud is this weekend. Robert and I are having another date night, which should be fun, and I am excited to just kind of relax and have a chill weekend after that. I also got a surprise for him, and hope we can use it this weekend! I will post what it is at a later date, but it’s something kind of nerdy and fun.

My thorn is just not feeling well. I am optimistic that tomorrow is going to be a great day, though, and I’m really going to try to enjoy the little things!

I’m feeling really sleepy now and am hoping I’ll be able to get some rest now. Goodnight world, I will post another little blurb tomorrow. I’m trying to be better about writing because I know people keep coming back to my site, and you deserve to have something new to read. Thank you for being kind and patient with me! ❤

A Rocky Start To Boxing

Oof, I mutter as I get hit in the head with a black boxing glove and fall to the ground.

Thud, thud, thud. My head is pounding. I can’t focus.

Boof. I get hit again as I try to stand.

My eyes attempt to focus on the bright dangling light, but my vision blurs. My head is throbbing. I can’t think.

The Everlast glove comes at me again, hitting the back of my head and knocking me down before I can stand. I feel a goose egg begin to form. Everything in the room is amplified. The crowd is cheering. The sound is making me nauseous.

Thud, thud, thud. The fluorescent lights make me feel ill. I wonder why they suddenly changed to strobe lights. Is this some kind of joke? Still can’t think.

It feels like I’m in a dream and I am struggling to wake up; every time I try to stand, though, I get hit in the back of the head. My opponent isn’t losing any sort of momentum as he hits me hard, again and again. His powerful blows are dancing to the rhythm of my heartbeat.

The announcer’s voice blares into the speakers. I cry and hold my ears in pain at the deafening volume. Why isn’t the sound bothering anyone else?

He hits me from a different angle and my head continues to throb. I wince in pain at the sharpness of the new blow. My eyes dart frantically around the room to find a way out.

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There’s an enormous red EXIT sign I rush to as quickly as possible. It’s my only hope.

I lie down in bed and hope this will relieve my pain. I drift off to sleep, and finally escape. Migraines are physically painful, and the only way to break free from their firm grasp is living life in a dream until they pass away.

I don’t really know how to end this post; I can’t think.