My Proposal To The Bachelor Franchise

There is plenty of footage from The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise that we never see. We all know there’s a lot of editing done so that the producers can make people look however they want to add to the drama each season. My guess is, though, with a house filled with people all trying to date the same person, there is probably enough drama that you don’t really have to do that much to curate it. If the casting directors step up their game and really choose people wisely, problems will ensue, drama will happen, and the audience will eat. it. up.

Did you know football is on Friday, literally all day on Sunday, and Monday nights? That’s just the NFL. College football is probably on every day of the week, so you’re pretty much screwed if your significant other cares about all the sports. There’s also baseball, which feels like it’s on every day except Christmas, and the NBA preseason games start in the beginning of October. Like, what is the difference between preseason and the regular season? They’re all 2+ hour games that you want a specific team you’re rooting for to win, whether or not it counts. Hockey starts sometime in the next few months, and again, baseball is on basically year-round, so there is always something taking up space on the television at home.

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Something I think is VERY problematic, is the timing of the bachelor franchise. Football started this week and on Tuesday Bachelor in Paradise ENDS. Like, who even comes up with this?! WE NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER, BIP. I was looking forward to having my own game nights where all my friends come over for pizza and baked goods to cheer on the Nicoles and Clays of the season, and wonder what the heck Caelynn is going to do with Dean coming back when she’s already begun a new relationship with Connor.

Honestly, life isn’t fair in a lot of ways, but this is something human beings can change. We can fight to get ABC to play more of the trashy TV we have grown to love and leave other networks to host sports. I tried to create a petition that people could sign. to get The Bachelor on our television screens on football nights, but I guess Change.org only really accepts petitions for things that really matter.

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I’m sorry, but I need this every night football is on. I want someone to cheer for, and people to root against when they’re sleeping with a handful of the franchise girls at Stagecoach. I want to find out if Hayley and JPJ are meant for each other and can somehow make things work, despite all this inner conflict about falling for Tayshia first.

If Fleiss and friends are scared of the competition of sports, I say, bring it. The franchise has a big enough following that dedicated fans like me will turn on ABC instead of ESPN, and even if they lose a few people along the way, at least the diehard fans are happy, right? We’re the ones who will keep the show going, even through the Arie Luyendyk and Jake Pavelka’s of it all. We stick around during the boring seasons so that we know everyone going into the next show and can root for our next bachelor or bachelorette to find love.

Please consider my plea. I seriously need some sort of break from watching men hurl an oval ball back and forth, and would appreciate all the drama I know you can create for me. Take a page out of the Big Brother handbook, and have live feeds for us. If nothing else, at least put The Bachelor on a few nights a week whenever there are big sporting events. PUT MY ENTERTAINMENT ON MORE OFTEN! It only seems fair to add an emotional competition to all the physical ones we have on television every night, right? Will you accept this proposal, ABC?

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The Most Important Questions

I never realized how stressful football watching can be until I became a Patriots fan. My heart raced in the last half of the game against Kansas City yesterday. It’s not easy caring whether or not your team makes it to the next game, especially if it’s as important as the Super Bowl.

Becoming a football fan can be confusing, though. It’s not like the announcers explain things for us newbies, so I have to keep my trusty iPhone by my side for the questions I don’t feel like bothering Robert with. I wanted to share some of my new knowledge with you, so here are the questions I Googled during the game:

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The first thing I looked up (after ordering wings, of course) was,

“Good thing to say during Kansas City and Patriots [game].”

I found a few things that contributed to our football-watching, and Robert was so into the game that he didn’t seem to notice that I had looked some stats up. Usually he catches me redhanded in a Google. Once the game started, I began getting into it. It’s nice being able to understand things like what a “first down” is and why the quarterback sometimes passes it and sometimes hands it off to someone (the running back, of course). I know, I know. I’m pretty cool for knowing a thing or two about football. That’s not the purpose of this blog post, though. I am going to open your eyes to a new part of the NFL. Here are some of the most important questions I now have the answers to:

“Can you grab an NFL player by the hair?”

The answer is yes, yes you can. Which led me to wonder why anyone would have hair that falls outside their helmet. They likely weren’t children on the playground with a ponytail to be grabbed during a vicious game of capture the flag or never snuggled up to a significant other to watch a movie, only to have their hair laid on and ripped out by the root. These two traumas are enough to make me cringe so hard when I think about the players’ scalp injuries throughout their career.

My next question was,

“What do football players keep in their fanny packs?”

I found the answer to the question of the century. Before I answer it, here were my guesses: Gatorade chewies, a towel to wipe off sweat, thirst-quencher gum (which definitely doesn’t work btw), and maybe a picture of a girlfriend or wife. I like to think the players are romantics too — more on this later.

None of my guesses were right… Not even close! I didn’t find a legit article on this because apparently everyone just knows what this part of the uniform is for, but my husband confirmed that Quora was correct and that they are actually not really meant to carry things. The “fanny packs” are actually just hand warmers. Very interesting.

The next question I Googled was my favorite because I found a gem of a GIF.

“Has an NFL player ever been ‘pantsed?'”

The reason I thought of this was because I kept seeing them grab each other by the jersey. Sometimes shirts would fly up a little, so I figured there must have been some point in time where a player just lost complete control of their uniform and found themselves exposed. Mr. Jackson, I am so sorry, but I have to share this picture with the world because it is just so darn funny. I couldn’t find any interviews about this incident, but I hope you had a good sense of humor about it too. Wardrobe malfunctions happen to the best of us, and I guess it’s just part of the risk of being an NFL player.

Then it was halftime and they had a bunch of commercials. One of my favorites was the one with the two NFL players who opened a cupcake franchise! They were freaking adorable, and I really want to order some cupcakes just to know they have the opportunity to bake them together for me. They looked like they were having so much fun, and despite knowing they will actually not be hand making the chocolate salted caramel and chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakes for me, at least I’m still supporting their sweet dream (And yes, Gigi’s Cupcakes does deliver. Order some here to celebrate Super Bowl Sunday).

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Photo Credit: Gigi’s Cupcakes Bee Cave Facebook

Brian Orakpo and Michael Griffin’s adorable interaction prompted me to look up who were some best friend duos in the NFL. I saw a few cute relationships and took note of Tom Brady and Julian Edelman since they are on my team, but somehow during all of this Googling I decided to look up Stephen Gostkowski to see if he seemed like a nice guy. Actually, the reason I did was because I am still looking for someone to support by wearing their jersey, and I noticed he was a really good kicker. I liked that he had my favorite number — 3 — and I think the kickers are underrated. This guy dictates whether or not we get precious points, and he didn’t crack under pressure at all! I don’t often see this jersey floating around the DC area, which is why I think he is the one I want to represent every Sunday.

After reading some about Gostkowski’s career and finding out that he is a genuinely good guy, I clicked on his wife’s name to see what their story was. Reading about the player’s personal lives is one of my favorite things about sports, and people’s love lives is the top thing I like meddling in. Guys. They are adorableIt looks like they’ve been together forever and have a really solid relationship. I’m always really happy to see celebrities or athletes who seem to be grounded. I looked up “cutest NFL relationships,” and theirs is still one of my favorites.

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Photo Credit: Patriots Instagram

My last thing I looked up was,

“The reason for black paint under eyes.”

There is a reason so many athletes wear black paint, but I don’t know if I really buy it. I kind of think it’s their way of feeling cool, but apparently it’s to help them see better. I still am not sure what exactly they use; is it face paint, a sticker, or a charcoal mask that really makes it a convenient dual purpose? It just seems like the kind of thing football players do to show that they belong to a club we can’t be a part of.

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Well, joke’s on them, because I got some Blaq charcoal eye masks in my most recent FabFitFun box and not gonna lie, they totally make me seem tough.

Do you know any interesting football facts? Who are some of the nicest players in the league? I think it’s time to start writing articles about the important things in life, not just statistics. Wouldn’t that make the game even more interesting to watch?

The Greatest Of All Time

What a game.

I can’t say I always enjoy sitting for four hours to watch football, but yesterday was totally worth it.

I started watching at a bar with one of my best friends, and we sipped milkshakes as we watched the Falcons get a couple of touchdowns. I knew Robert was probably not super happy about how the game was going, but I am a fierce optimist, so I kept saying to myself that the Patriots could still make a comeback. I actually felt really at peace most of the game, not because I didn’t feel invested, but I just had one of those crazy gut feelings that the Patriots would come through. I’d be lying if I said my heart wasn’t racing the last ten minutes of the game or in overtime, but it was just one of those weird moments where I felt like I knew everything would work out in my favor (As a sidenote, I am so sorry if you are a Falcons fan. That must have been really tough to watch; I feel pretty bad for everyone involved in that organization right now).

The Patriots have been a pretty big part of this past year for me, as I’ve been working on the Tom Brady project and kind of converted to becoming a Patriots fan. In the past I haven’t changed my sports teams for a guy — though I did date a Cowboys fan once, which was convenient for football games — but the Patriots have been different. I love the energy the fans have, and I actually genuinely like a lot of the players on the team. The more I see about the organization the more I really fall for it.

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Photo taken from Tom Brady’s Facebook

At first I enjoyed going and watching the Patriots play the Cowboys with Robert and having a friendly rivalry, but throughout his deployment I have grown incredibly fond of the New England team. They will always have a special place in my heart, and I have made the bittersweet decision to trade out my Tony Romo jersey for a Tom Brady one next season. I had already been trying to figure out who I was going to go for, as Romo has had a rough year, but instead of grabbing a Jason Witten or Dez Bryant jersey, my heart is leading me in a different direction. I will always love the Cowboys, but now I have two teams my heart feels really happy about. It will be interesting to see who I choose to root for when the Cowboys make a comeback to play the Patriots in the next Super Bowl. That will be the true test to see who my loyalty really lies with. 😉

So. Much. Hype.

Oh my goodness, I am so exhausted! Planning for someone to come home from a deployment is a heck of a lot of work. I know, I know, I’ve had over 9 months to plan, but there are a lot of reasons I didn’t start this until about a month ago.

First, I didn’t have the idea to try to make this happen until December 15th when Tom Brady posted about leaving UGGs around Massachusetts.

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As soon as I saw these posts I was like, “Oh my gosh, I HAVE to try to get him to meet Robert.” I know, I know, what are the chances of that actually happening? But I feel like I’ve had several moments in my life where I’ve been shocked that something really incredible and unbelievable has happened. Like this time I went to the Jingle Ball and got to interview a bunch of celebrities — including Flo Rida, Ke$ha, Ed Sheeran, Enriqueee Iglesias and a bunch of other people I didn’t listen to very much. My favorite moment of all was asking Flo Rida this “Would You Rather” question (I cringed watching this, but sucked it up because we’re all family here, right?):

Anyway, my strange luck with celebrities gave me the hope that even though there is a less than 1 in a million chance Tom Brady would say yes — especially during playoff season — that I might as well try. It’s been awkward posting so much about something, but I honestly think Robert is worth embarrassing myself a million times in a row if I had to. This happens to be the most perfect thing I could ever think about doing for him, and even if I gave Robert a meeting with Tom Brady I’d still feel like he deserved so much more.

Robert is one of the most kind, genuine, thoughtful, and selfless people I know, which is why I want to do everything I possibly can to give him wonderful things in life.

Another reason I hadn’t started planning this “Welcome Home” until about a month ahead of time was because these past 9 months have felt absolutely endless. Deployments are so hard on both parties, but Robert and I definitely agree that this time apart has felt very different for each of us. Time has flown by for him, as he has been so busy traveling all around the Middle East and working 7 days a week. For me, though, the time has crawled by. My days consist of working out, going to a million different doctors, and trying anything I possibly can to get better. Sometimes this means just resting a lot. This is hard enough on it’s own when you have an active mind like I do, but it’s far worse when you are really missing someone. Planning a “Welcome Home” surprise months in advance is like trying to plan the most exciting party of your life months ahead of when it’s actually happening. I think part of the reason I don’t like prepping for Christmas until after Thanksgiving is because I just can’t keep all that hype going much longer than a month!

I’m going to keep pushing forward to get some sort of New England Patriots welcome put together for when Robert is back. I’ll keep working until the day he gets back, then I’ll be able to relax and enjoy his company again. I have a few phone meetings this week, so please wish me luck! And as I’ve said in my previous posts — please watch and share this video!

Thank you so much, and I will surely keep y’all posted!