Secret Santa Grinch

Oh my gosh guys, I am so embarrassed (side note: how many blog posts have I started with this introduction now? I’m having a serious case of Déjà vu).

I made such a silly mistake that made me seem like the biggest jerk ever.

So basically my good friend Kalika and I decided to set up a snail mail secret Santa. Sounds fun, right?! It’s the same a regular one — you draw a name and that’s the person you’re giving a gift to, except it’s all done by mail! She and I both love care packages and snail mail, so it’s perfect. You’re welcome, USPS.

Anyway, Kalika found a cool website called DrawNames.com that does all the organizing for you. You set up a profile in your little group, which includes your first and last name, address, and who you are supposed to send a gift to.

I’m not necessarily technologically challenged, but I also wouldn’t say technology and I are absolute BFFs. I’d say we’re really good friends because he’s super cool and entertaining and a generally good guy, but he sometimes decides to stab me in the back… So I should just be extra-alert when we’re hanging out.

Anyway, I was really confused when I got a package from Amazon in the mail.

What the heck did I order? I wondered to myself.

I’ve been doing some shopping for friends online lately, but I couldn’t remember purchasing anything from Amazon. Especially an item that would come in a slim envelope like the one sitting on my porch! The only thing I could really reason was that Petzi, the present Robert had sent me from Amazon, had forgotten something in my first package.

I went to the kitchen and opened it, only to find this note and Amazon gift card enclosed:

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What in the world?! I thought to myself. Who could have possibly known I would want a Kylie lip kit? Yes, I have been more into makeup lately — especially lip products — but I don’t remember talking to anyone about this particular item.

My first thought was Robert, as he’s always great at giving gifts randomly, and even better at reading my mind (As you will see in my next post!). I thought about it a little more, though, and there were too many things that didn’t add up. First, he wouldn’t have a clue what kind of makeup things were “trendy” right now. These lip kits are kind of for makeup (Or KUWTK) fanatics. Second, he’s probably never in his life purchased any sort of lip products, so wouldn’t realize that some of these kits can get very expensive compared to others. Third, how the heck would he ever pick out a color for me?! Girls would know that I’d be into the “Candy K” or “Kristin” shade, but Robert might think trying something risky like “Dead of the Night” or worse — “Trick” would be cool. Yikes.

I sat down and thought really hard. Then it all hit me at once.

Oh my gosh, my brain went into panic mode as I rushed to my laptop. My fingers thought faster than my mind, and swiftly typed “Gmail” into the browser. Then I searched, “Secret Santa” and clicked on the last email link we had been sent. It took me to the group page and I clicked the blue “Krista.” This is what I was met with:

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Everything clicked all at once as I had a flashback.

The day we created this page I was offered to “create a wishlist” for what I wanted. I remember thinking how stupid this option was, as you shouldn’t ask your Secret Santa for exactly what you want. What’s the point if you’re just going to request something? I still clicked the link, though, because the “Kylie Lip Kit” suggestion caught my eye. I scrolled through the page of recommendations, and clicked out of the page, never to give it a second thought.

Until now.

I seemed like such a jerk to some girl I don’t even know! Everyone in the Secret Santa group ended up being Kalika’s friends, most of whom I hadn’t met. I immediately felt like a moron, as any of my friends would understand this was just another goofy “Krista story,” but this person just had the impression that I demanded Kylie lip kits right and left. I looked back at the incredibly sweet note she had included and felt even worse. Most people would be so annoyed at someone demanding something that was more than twice the amount we were supposed to spend for this gift exchange, but this girl was so sweet and genuine about her gift that I really felt bad. I quickly texted Kalika with a rant about how embarrassed I was, and sent this message to the Secret Santa group:

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Luckily the person who gave me this sent me a message and was so kind about the misunderstanding, but it was still lightly traumatic for me. I hate being high maintenance or making other people feel uncomfortable, which is so unfortunate considering the person I am and how often I make goofy mistakes.

Today’s lesson: I should not be allowed to try new technologies — at least if they can affect another person!

My Secret Admirer

I have a kind of fun throwback this week. I’ve been cleaning out my room and happened to find a bunch of letters I received in college. Some were from pen pals, others from my ex, and even more from my mom and roommates. This was one that I had completely forgotten about receiving my first Valentine’s Day at school. I had a secret admirer who didn’t reveal himself until years later, even though I kind of had a hunch back when I received it.

The letter was so beautiful that I got his permission to publish it! Enjoy the only letter I have gotten from a Secret Admirer before (But you only really need one, right?):


 

Dear Krista,

“Life is divided into three terms — that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us know from the past to profit by the present, and from the present to live better in the future.” — William Wordsworth

This quote has always been of inspiration and of compassionate intelligence to me, so I hope sharing it with you will be of some great meaning and benefit you in the same ways, and in those which it has not. Normally, Valentine’s Day is not a day which I find overly exciting, however, I find myself giddy with excitement like a young child before Christmas morning! Hopefully this letter reaches you as the first and most enjoyable of the day, but I most certainly hope you enjoy the rest of this special day’s treats. Ideally I would have hoped to personally deliver this letter to you; however, that would defeat the purpose of being a secret admirer! Either way, this should wake you with a smile.

I find you to be the most intoxicating girl I have ever met, you are beautiful in ways I never thought possible, and unique in every way I thought impossible, and I get drunk on your unique personality and genuinely beautiful smile. This makes you a very special girl, and not one to be taken lightly. As I hope to show you through this letter, I do not take you lightly, I do not take you for granted, and I do believe you are everything that every man should be looking for in a lady. You are a strong, independent woman, of that I am sure, and I would never want to stand in the way of your hopes and dreams, especially because they are a prominent piece of your personality. I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever known, you are sweet, caring and kind, and sometimes I think you might be too much of some of these for your own good. Your sarcasm is hilarious, it makes me laugh uncontrollably and it is one of the reasons I cannot get enough of you, it it such an unconventional trait for you to have, or so I think, and I find that it throws me for a twist every time it shines through. My favorite thing of all, though, is undoubtedly, oh wait, I cannot tell you such a thing, because it would give me away and this is most certainly a “secret admirer’s” letter. I hope by now you are blushing and in deep thought of who this mysterious person could be that is writing you such an adoring, shall we call it, a love letter? Hmmm? Why not, it is Valentine’s Day and I do love who you are, as well as care for you no matter what, you will always be someone I cherish, because you are an incredible person. If every girl were more like you, this world would be a better place, and that is something I respect you for most sincerely.

If this were another letter, I would begin to share with you some of the most treasured times I have shared with you, but I am afraid that if I would do so now it would certainly reveal my mysterious identity and this “secret admirer” letter would be ruined. I cannot see myself doing that for obvious reasons, one being what an amazing job I have done thus far, and the second most important being the effort I have put into said “amazing job” (unsure of why I put quotations around that, ait sort of makes me seem like I am mocking my effort and that in reality this letter is in no way amazing, haha). With all that being said, and with using my first and last “haha, or lol, or any other common poor writing technique/slang terminology,” I would like you to know that I am smiling most endearingly at the thought of all the great times I have spent with you, and I hope that in your heart you too are smiling, if not because of the times we have shared together, than because you should read the rest of the letter knowing that you have made me a better and happier man.

Lastly Krista, I know that you are knowledgeable in the field of writing, so please do not critique me too harshly, please and thank you!

With pleasure and love,
Your Secret Admirer

PS — within the line beginning “Lastly” there is a clue as to who I am, if you figure it out and you believe me to be the writer of this letter and you present said clue to me from that line, I will have no choice but to tell you the God’s honest truth as to whether or not I wrote it, but just to be clear, you must know the correct clue that I have given you, and you must be sure of it. Therefore, you should not present the accusation of me being the “secret admirer” as a question, more so as a statement and the correct clue as your reasoning.

“I told her, how he pin’d and ah!

The low, the deep, the pleading tone,

With which I sang another’s Love,

Interpreted my own.

She listen’d with a flitting Blush,

With downcast Eyes and modest Grace;

And she forgave me that I gaz’d

Too fondly on her face!”

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