My Proposal To The Bachelor Franchise

There is plenty of footage from The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise that we never see. We all know there’s a lot of editing done so that the producers can make people look however they want to add to the drama each season. My guess is, though, with a house filled with people all trying to date the same person, there is probably enough drama that you don’t really have to do that much to curate it. If the casting directors step up their game and really choose people wisely, problems will ensue, drama will happen, and the audience will eat. it. up.

Did you know football is on Friday, literally all day on Sunday, and Monday nights? That’s just the NFL. College football is probably on every day of the week, so you’re pretty much screwed if your significant other cares about all the sports. There’s also baseball, which feels like it’s on every day except Christmas, and the NBA preseason games start in the beginning of October. Like, what is the difference between preseason and the regular season? They’re all 2+ hour games that you want a specific team you’re rooting for to win, whether or not it counts. Hockey starts sometime in the next few months, and again, baseball is on basically year-round, so there is always something taking up space on the television at home.

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Something I think is VERY problematic, is the timing of the bachelor franchise. Football started this week and on Tuesday Bachelor in Paradise ENDS. Like, who even comes up with this?! WE NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER, BIP. I was looking forward to having my own game nights where all my friends come over for pizza and baked goods to cheer on the Nicoles and Clays of the season, and wonder what the heck Caelynn is going to do with Dean coming back when she’s already begun a new relationship with Connor.

Honestly, life isn’t fair in a lot of ways, but this is something human beings can change. We can fight to get ABC to play more of the trashy TV we have grown to love and leave other networks to host sports. I tried to create a petition that people could sign. to get The Bachelor on our television screens on football nights, but I guess Change.org only really accepts petitions for things that really matter.

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I’m sorry, but I need this every night football is on. I want someone to cheer for, and people to root against when they’re sleeping with a handful of the franchise girls at Stagecoach. I want to find out if Hayley and JPJ are meant for each other and can somehow make things work, despite all this inner conflict about falling for Tayshia first.

If Fleiss and friends are scared of the competition of sports, I say, bring it. The franchise has a big enough following that dedicated fans like me will turn on ABC instead of ESPN, and even if they lose a few people along the way, at least the diehard fans are happy, right? We’re the ones who will keep the show going, even through the Arie Luyendyk and Jake Pavelka’s of it all. We stick around during the boring seasons so that we know everyone going into the next show and can root for our next bachelor or bachelorette to find love.

Please consider my plea. I seriously need some sort of break from watching men hurl an oval ball back and forth, and would appreciate all the drama I know you can create for me. Take a page out of the Big Brother handbook, and have live feeds for us. If nothing else, at least put The Bachelor on a few nights a week whenever there are big sporting events. PUT MY ENTERTAINMENT ON MORE OFTEN! It only seems fair to add an emotional competition to all the physical ones we have on television every night, right? Will you accept this proposal, ABC?

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Final Destination Basketball Games

Gosh, I never realized how little Robert knows about basketball until we watched one of the Celtics’ biggest games of the year on Friday.

Alright, alright. I mean me. Sadly, I am married to someone who loves watching sports, and I don’t keep up with them in the least. I made my first bracket for the NCAA March Madness tournament (College basketball, for those of you who know even less than I do) and failed miserably. I got 12th out of 13 teams — and the 13th person didn’t fill out theirs at all. Apparently, though, most of the people probably cheated, as there are little numbers telling you who is in what seed, but I didn’t know that when I chose my teams. So you can basically look at those and guess who’s going to make it pretty far. Instead, I had to choose based on who I had heard of in the past, what team sounded cooler, which mascot I liked best, or which had better colors if everything else was tied. Basically, I didn’t get the little cheat sheet that would have hinted that Gonzaga is actually a good team and shouldn’t just remind me of Gorgonzola cheese. I think I would have kept them past the first round had I known they were a one seed. The only plus was that I kept one bad team in that had an upset, so I got a lot of points for that. I don’t remember which team it was, so please don’t ask. Maybe a Texas or Tennessee team? Is one of them kind of bad but made it far?

Back to the Friday night game, though. I strongly believe in the “fake it until you make it” method, so I wasn’t about to seem like I didn’t know what I was talking about during the game. So in true Krista fashion, I joked my way though the entire thing. I either got a few good chuckles, an “I’m impressed with your extensive basketball knowledge” comment, or a look of complete horror that I could possibly be that unaware of what’s going on in the game. Each of these were completely worth it since we laughed a lot more and I felt surprisingly entertained during the whole ordeal.

Here are some tactics I used, and how well I think they worked in making me sound like a sports genius:

Rambling about the players’ personal lives. 8/10

“Yeah, he’s got several siblings, so I’m sure they’re proud of their brother for playing professional ball.” This statement gives me a ton of credibility. First, by giving a nonspecific fact that has a good chance of being true, you are building your credibility while not being questioned very much on the legitimacy of the fact. If Robert questioned me more I could Google the answer and would likely find that Jaylen Brown would have at least a sibling or two. Using more obscure players — perhaps on the bench — would give a lower likelihood of questioning, as people will be less curious about their personal lives. Next time I need to pay closer attention to the benched players and focus on them a little more.

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Yes, Google, I will claim this knowledge now. Jaylen Brown does have a sibling, therefore I must know a lot about basketball.

Second, calling “Basketball” just “Ball” makes me seem like a super-fan. You can shorten a lot of different words to sound cooler and like you’re in the know with the sport. “Double dribble” suddenly becomes a “Double,” “Three pointer,” turns into shooting a “Three,” and so forth. Also, I have noticed a lot of moves in sports are shortened to just a few letters. “Touchdown” is “TD,” and “QB” for “Quarterback.” This tells me that saying something like, “Man, LeBron needs to work on his FT’s!” would be pretty cool. Maybe “free throw” isn’t typically called “FT,” but whoever you are watching with will surely not correct you because it just sounds legit, and they won’t want to risk look like a fool schooling you on something that may or may not be expert lingo.

I’ve seen several Celtics games now, so I know that Al Horford seems like a really nice guy, and that he’s a married man. I don’t know anything about his wife, though I should probably begin studying because I do actually like learning about the players’ stories, and am much more interested in that than their stats on the court. I took what I knew and ran with it. I talked about what a nice guy Horford is and how cute his family is. I wondered whether his kids would eventually be pro basketball players, and Robert completely tuned out as I rambled about generalizations you could probably make about most good families. I wouldn’t say he was impressed by my knowledge, but it definitely didn’t hurt being an expert on something that he knew nothing about.

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Horford’s most recent Instagram post was about his family. Looks like I did well with this one too! Photo Credit: Instagram @AlHorford

Making observations based on the players’ appearances. -2/10

As soon as I saw Brian Scalabrine, I had a sneaking suspicion he was Irish. There were a few standout features that gave me confidence, so I went for it. “Did you know Brian Cabrini is Irish?” I asked without letting on that I had never seen this man in my entire life. Sadly, I misheard his name, but Robert didn’t seem to notice. He was just slightly unimpressed and more interested in watching the game than talking about one of the announcers. Noted.

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Photo Credit: Brian’s Instagram @WhiteMamba
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Back in his balling days.

There was a man playing basketball with something that looked like a delicate fabric cast on his left arm. It looked like it would be for managing sweat, but why wouldn’t he be wearing it on both arms then? That logic is pretty good, so it must be for an injury of some sort. I decided to call it a broken elbow, even though it didn’t even touch that part of his body. For some reason I found this to be more entertaining because I figured it would be funny if Robert didn’t notice that and it would just be hilarious for him to think I was that much of a noob. I had to keep going with it to sound legit, so I said, “Yeah, it’s great he’s recovered so well from the break. I was afraid he’d be out all season!” I got a look of complete confusion, followed by a, “No he didn’t, and that isn’t even touching his elbow.” Darn! The reaction was worth me looking like an idiot, though.

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Photo Credit: Instagram @Celtics

I’m going to go ahead and give this method a negative two because if anything it hurt my credibility. I talked too much about people that didn’t matter and made inaccurate observations. I think if I had taken it a little more seriously I could have actually made myself seem like a basketball nerd, but I wasn’t in the mood to be serious. I’ll try it again next time.

Changing the subject if you don’t know something. 4/10

My methods must have worked pretty well, because Robert quizzed me on things during the game. Some of the questions he asked were insultingly easy. “He’s wearing green shorts,” I answered. “The sky is blue.” Okay, so none of them were that easy, but it basically on that level, as I know the very basics of basketball. After all, I was the knockout champion of gym class my sophomore year of high school. Anyway, he realized I knew random facts, so figured he would quiz me on the game more. When he asked me what an “and one” was, for example, I mumbled something too softly for him to hear and changed the subject.

“Wow! I forgot that Kyrie might get MVP this year!” Apparently, they don’t have an MVP for each team, though, and there’s only one for the entire NBA. That makes his chances of getting it really slim, and I can’t remember for sure, but I don’t think he’s really in the running for that right now… It would have been wise to have memorized a few facts ahead of the game, but I’ll remember that for next time.

Unfortunately, my plan might have worked if I had a more interesting fact in my pocket, but it just hurt my credibility. He asked again what the “and one” was, so I said it was Michael Jordan’s basketball clothing line. Sadly, I should have kept it a little less specific and I think that would have impressed him. Apparently Michael Jordan’s line is called the “Jordan Brand,” and is a part of Nike’s collection. And One is its own basketball brand. They claim to be “the greatest basketball brand EVER,” and I believe them. There is a move in basketball called “and one,” though, and it means you get an extra free-throw shot after you make one while getting fouled. I hope I explained that well, I just learned about it on Friday.

I gave this method a 4 out of 10 because I think it could have worked better if I had some real facts to throw out during the game. Changing the subject is a little annoying, but if you have something more impressive and more important to say, why not? This will go better the next time around, I just know it.


What are some good basketball facts I should know for the next time we watch? Where did you study to learn more about sports? I think I’m learning just from watching the games, but there is a lot to remember and are a lot of players who look like they’re doing the same thing on the court, even though they have completely different jobs.

The Most Important Questions

I never realized how stressful football watching can be until I became a Patriots fan. My heart raced in the last half of the game against Kansas City yesterday. It’s not easy caring whether or not your team makes it to the next game, especially if it’s as important as the Super Bowl.

Becoming a football fan can be confusing, though. It’s not like the announcers explain things for us newbies, so I have to keep my trusty iPhone by my side for the questions I don’t feel like bothering Robert with. I wanted to share some of my new knowledge with you, so here are the questions I Googled during the game:

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The first thing I looked up (after ordering wings, of course) was,

“Good thing to say during Kansas City and Patriots [game].”

I found a few things that contributed to our football-watching, and Robert was so into the game that he didn’t seem to notice that I had looked some stats up. Usually he catches me redhanded in a Google. Once the game started, I began getting into it. It’s nice being able to understand things like what a “first down” is and why the quarterback sometimes passes it and sometimes hands it off to someone (the running back, of course). I know, I know. I’m pretty cool for knowing a thing or two about football. That’s not the purpose of this blog post, though. I am going to open your eyes to a new part of the NFL. Here are some of the most important questions I now have the answers to:

“Can you grab an NFL player by the hair?”

The answer is yes, yes you can. Which led me to wonder why anyone would have hair that falls outside their helmet. They likely weren’t children on the playground with a ponytail to be grabbed during a vicious game of capture the flag or never snuggled up to a significant other to watch a movie, only to have their hair laid on and ripped out by the root. These two traumas are enough to make me cringe so hard when I think about the players’ scalp injuries throughout their career.

My next question was,

“What do football players keep in their fanny packs?”

I found the answer to the question of the century. Before I answer it, here were my guesses: Gatorade chewies, a towel to wipe off sweat, thirst-quencher gum (which definitely doesn’t work btw), and maybe a picture of a girlfriend or wife. I like to think the players are romantics too — more on this later.

None of my guesses were right… Not even close! I didn’t find a legit article on this because apparently everyone just knows what this part of the uniform is for, but my husband confirmed that Quora was correct and that they are actually not really meant to carry things. The “fanny packs” are actually just hand warmers. Very interesting.

The next question I Googled was my favorite because I found a gem of a GIF.

“Has an NFL player ever been ‘pantsed?'”

The reason I thought of this was because I kept seeing them grab each other by the jersey. Sometimes shirts would fly up a little, so I figured there must have been some point in time where a player just lost complete control of their uniform and found themselves exposed. Mr. Jackson, I am so sorry, but I have to share this picture with the world because it is just so darn funny. I couldn’t find any interviews about this incident, but I hope you had a good sense of humor about it too. Wardrobe malfunctions happen to the best of us, and I guess it’s just part of the risk of being an NFL player.

Then it was halftime and they had a bunch of commercials. One of my favorites was the one with the two NFL players who opened a cupcake franchise! They were freaking adorable, and I really want to order some cupcakes just to know they have the opportunity to bake them together for me. They looked like they were having so much fun, and despite knowing they will actually not be hand making the chocolate salted caramel and chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakes for me, at least I’m still supporting their sweet dream (And yes, Gigi’s Cupcakes does deliver. Order some here to celebrate Super Bowl Sunday).

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Photo Credit: Gigi’s Cupcakes Bee Cave Facebook

Brian Orakpo and Michael Griffin’s adorable interaction prompted me to look up who were some best friend duos in the NFL. I saw a few cute relationships and took note of Tom Brady and Julian Edelman since they are on my team, but somehow during all of this Googling I decided to look up Stephen Gostkowski to see if he seemed like a nice guy. Actually, the reason I did was because I am still looking for someone to support by wearing their jersey, and I noticed he was a really good kicker. I liked that he had my favorite number — 3 — and I think the kickers are underrated. This guy dictates whether or not we get precious points, and he didn’t crack under pressure at all! I don’t often see this jersey floating around the DC area, which is why I think he is the one I want to represent every Sunday.

After reading some about Gostkowski’s career and finding out that he is a genuinely good guy, I clicked on his wife’s name to see what their story was. Reading about the player’s personal lives is one of my favorite things about sports, and people’s love lives is the top thing I like meddling in. Guys. They are adorableIt looks like they’ve been together forever and have a really solid relationship. I’m always really happy to see celebrities or athletes who seem to be grounded. I looked up “cutest NFL relationships,” and theirs is still one of my favorites.

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Photo Credit: Patriots Instagram

My last thing I looked up was,

“The reason for black paint under eyes.”

There is a reason so many athletes wear black paint, but I don’t know if I really buy it. I kind of think it’s their way of feeling cool, but apparently it’s to help them see better. I still am not sure what exactly they use; is it face paint, a sticker, or a charcoal mask that really makes it a convenient dual purpose? It just seems like the kind of thing football players do to show that they belong to a club we can’t be a part of.

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Well, joke’s on them, because I got some Blaq charcoal eye masks in my most recent FabFitFun box and not gonna lie, they totally make me seem tough.

Do you know any interesting football facts? Who are some of the nicest players in the league? I think it’s time to start writing articles about the important things in life, not just statistics. Wouldn’t that make the game even more interesting to watch?

Base, Foot, and Basket ‘Ballin

This weekend has been filled to the brim with sports. If there isn’t football on Saturday, then there is baseball and basketball going on. If basketball is taking a break, there are three football games and another baseball game to watch. As someone who has enjoyed spending her evenings watching The Hallmark Channel or reality TV, getting married and having sports on television so frequently has been jarring to say the least. In fact, despite Robert claiming he doesn’t watch every single athletic event that is aired, I would be shocked if there was much more available for viewing.

Here are a few things I have learned since taking such a big “interest” in sports for the past few weeks:

#1: Baseball doesn’t sleep. Literally. Like, on Friday (Slash, through Saturday) they went into 18 innings and didn’t finish until 3:30 in the morning. What kind of sport makes its fans watch that darn late?! Rude!! Also, baseball is always on. They apparently have games basically every single day, with a few short months of a break in the winter months. I am skeptical, as I think they’ll still find a way to weasel their way into our homes the next few months. I’ll report back.

#2: A sports fan might root for a certain team, but they apparently like watching anyone play. For example, we are a New England Patriots family, but we still watched the Eagles play, the Chiefs play, the Panthers play, and the Steelers play. Fantasy teams have made this a lot more bearable for me, because it’s actually kind of fun having people on the field to root for, but it still seems excessive to have 3 games in a row on Sunday — especially considering the length of a football game. It seems counterintuitive that a sports fan would spend their entire Sunday sitting on the couch, but that’s how the world of sports works.

#3: Sports can be interesting even to clueless people like me because thinking about everything with a newly-forming sports brain is kind of entertaining. For example, the goal of baseball is to hit a grapefruit-sized ball as far as you possibly can, in hopes of avoiding a few people who are covering the entirety of a field. These people run to catch the grapefruit, and somehow grab it almost every single time despite having so much land to cover! I am shocked every time the grapefruit plops into the glove because despite Robert saying they almost always catch it, I don’t freaking understand how. The grapefruit is tossed far and high, and at incredibly fast speeds. It seems impossible that people could run that far and  fast to catch the tiny object, but they have become masters of it.

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I know enough about sports and the English language to realize my hat is backwards in this picture, but this selfie was taken with the correct head tilt seen in the camera. It would look weird if I flipped it.

To make sports a little more bearable, I have started doing a few things. First, I try to get into the game by Googling any questions I might have. Not the boring questions like, “Why is that guy in the Red Sox uniform catching balls behind the LA hitter?” but ones like, “How many sunflower seeds are found on the baseball field after the game?” or, “Is Nathan Eovaldi dating anyone?” Here is a screenshot of the questions I Googled last night:

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To clarify, I googled the tongue thing because sometimes when I chew gum and walk at the same time, I bite my tongue. How do they do both while running at top speed from base to base?!

Since I love reality television and hearing all about other people’s lives, knowing more about the players as individuals is really crucial for me to have a good time watching any sport. The more I know about their dating lives, what they had for breakfast, how they caption pictures on Instagram, and whether or not they’re generally considered a “good guy,” the happier I will be to watch them play on the field/court/whatever you’d call the ice that is skated upon for hockey games. It’s a lot more fun rooting for people you feel like you know than a random man in a jersey. I mentioned that Robert should start studying about the athlete’s personal lives so he could tell me more about them while we are watching, and he told me that would be “boring.” How is that boring?! Something think is boring is a game that’s score is 1-1 and has no end in sight and nothing to talk about regarding what watching. That was my Friday night, and I’m still bitter about it.

I am going to continue to watch sports on television and will keep you all in the loop of what I learn. In the meantime, I am thankful tomorrow is Tuesday, because it will give me a chance to start watching The Hallmark Channel Christmas movies without being interrupted by a football or baseball game… Please tell me there isn’t any basketball on then.

More Than Just A Super Bowl Win

If you’ve been following along this blog for a little while now, you’ll know that I’ve become quite the Patriots fan since I met Robert. He did a great job converting me to root for all things Boston, and I think I have some good tips on how to bring a significant other to whatever your dark side is.

Despite being disappointed about not winning the Super Bowl this year, I was quickly intrigued by the Eagles’ quarterback, Nick Foles. I saw stories about his wife plastered all across my newsfeed, talking about how she was diagnosed with POTS in 2013 — the same year as me. Something I think is fascinating about POTS is that so many of us were athletes before we got sick — most of which were actually even more active than the typical person. I ran distances longer than the majority of the US population, ate really well, and jumped on any opportunity of athleticism that was offered. Along with running, I was almost always involved in some sort of club or intramural sport and had friends who would play pickup games with me. Tori Foles was a setter for the volleyball team at University of Arizona, shortly after graduating, she had to spend a month in the Mayo Clinic trying to figure out what made her suddenly get sick.

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My first year with POTS I had to go through the airport in a wheelchair.

It gives me chills how similar our stories are, and how many other young people have the exact same details in theirs. Athletic, young woman with career ambition gets sick right after graduating college — when she’s supposed to just be starting life. It also looks like we both reached for God in our time of hardship. God is still Someone I sometimes struggle with understanding, however having POTS has made me realize how much I need Him. There are things in life that we sometimes have no control over, and our only options are to face the obstacles alone or choose to lean on God for help. Although I sometimes complain about not having a normal life, I also realize what an amazing blessing it is to have healed as much as I have. Instead of fainting every time I stand, I just get dizzy or my vision blacks out for an instant. I don’t go through the entire week with a migraine anymore, and I am able to be in upright positions without having a million different symptoms to control. I still deal with the pain from my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, but having a brain that actually gets enough blood to it is an enormous blessing.

Something that makes the Foles’ story so beautiful is the fact that Nick and Tori decided to get married just a month after she got diagnosed. This makes my heart so, so happy because POTS is such a life-changing and frightening illness, particularly in the beginning when you’re still learning about it and how to manage your symptoms. There is a reason wedding vows have the line, “In sickness and in health,” because falling ill is one of the most difficult things life can toss at you, and you want to be sure the person you commit to spending your life with will stick around even during hardships. Perfect weddings, fun vacations, and nice things are all fun, but what is really beautiful is seeing how two very imperfect people come together and choose to love each other every single day.

I am not an expert on marriage by any means, but I think when you decide to take someone to be your forever, you are committing to choosing them each and every time. You won’t always have a picture perfect life — you may fight, be annoyed at your forever roommate for making the kitchen a mess, or in my case, or just have a downright bad day — but you will absolutely always love each other. At the end of the day you’ll have someone next to you who has your back no matter what, and that is what I think is the most beautiful thing life has to offer. True selfless love. 

The Greatest Of All Time

What a game.

I can’t say I always enjoy sitting for four hours to watch football, but yesterday was totally worth it.

I started watching at a bar with one of my best friends, and we sipped milkshakes as we watched the Falcons get a couple of touchdowns. I knew Robert was probably not super happy about how the game was going, but I am a fierce optimist, so I kept saying to myself that the Patriots could still make a comeback. I actually felt really at peace most of the game, not because I didn’t feel invested, but I just had one of those crazy gut feelings that the Patriots would come through. I’d be lying if I said my heart wasn’t racing the last ten minutes of the game or in overtime, but it was just one of those weird moments where I felt like I knew everything would work out in my favor (As a sidenote, I am so sorry if you are a Falcons fan. That must have been really tough to watch; I feel pretty bad for everyone involved in that organization right now).

The Patriots have been a pretty big part of this past year for me, as I’ve been working on the Tom Brady project and kind of converted to becoming a Patriots fan. In the past I haven’t changed my sports teams for a guy — though I did date a Cowboys fan once, which was convenient for football games — but the Patriots have been different. I love the energy the fans have, and I actually genuinely like a lot of the players on the team. The more I see about the organization the more I really fall for it.

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Photo taken from Tom Brady’s Facebook

At first I enjoyed going and watching the Patriots play the Cowboys with Robert and having a friendly rivalry, but throughout his deployment I have grown incredibly fond of the New England team. They will always have a special place in my heart, and I have made the bittersweet decision to trade out my Tony Romo jersey for a Tom Brady one next season. I had already been trying to figure out who I was going to go for, as Romo has had a rough year, but instead of grabbing a Jason Witten or Dez Bryant jersey, my heart is leading me in a different direction. I will always love the Cowboys, but now I have two teams my heart feels really happy about. It will be interesting to see who I choose to root for when the Cowboys make a comeback to play the Patriots in the next Super Bowl. That will be the true test to see who my loyalty really lies with. 😉

My Thank You To Tom Brady

Dear Tom,

I’m disappointed that we weren’t able to touch base to welcome Robert home from his deployment, but I understand. I figured this was a really farfetched dream, but I also know that if you never ask for something the answer will always be “no,” so I had to try.

Before embarking on this project, I didn’t know a lot about you. Robert is a huge football fan, but I don’t keep up with sports news very much. I wanted to let you know, though, that you have a new forever fan. Through trying reach people who might be able to help, creating YouTube videos, and doing interviews with a few newspapers in Foxboro I learned a lot about you. I followed a million different New England Patriots fan pages as well as Tom Brady ones, so I read articles as they popped up on my Facebook page. I have been really impressed with your good sportsmanship and attitude, as well as your kind heart.

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One that particularly touched me was the letter that you wrote to a family who just lost their young son in a tragic event. As soon as I read it I felt so incredibly thankful that you were able to give someone with such an enormous loss a small sense of comfort. I know that having you at the airport with me would have been nice, but I think the letter means more to that family than you or I could ever even imagine, and seeing that article meant even more to me than a response to my video. I feel blessed that God gave the world someone like you who is not only incredibly talented, but also incredibly kind, humble, and generous.

I now understand why Robert likes you so much, and I am proud to call myself not only a converted New England Patriots fan, but a Tom Brady fan as well. The world needs more Brady’s, and I hope other people will see that act of kindness and follow suit.

God bless, take care, and GO PATRIOTS! I am so excited to cheer y’all on in the Super Bowl this year.

Best,
Krista

A Wicked Good Welcome

Hey, friends!

I haven’t been great at updating this lately, but I will be offering an explanation for all of that soon enough. It’s partly been because I have been pretty sick on and off lately — with POTS and with some other goofy things going on! The other half, though, you will find out very soon.

In the meantime, I wanted to share a new newspaper interview I did that was shared in another newspaper, Wicked Local Foxborough. Did I share the first article yet? I will in a few days just so I have all my bases covered!

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Anyway, I’ll have a million and one things to write about soon, but in the meantime I just want to take another minute to thank everyone who has been so kind and helped in any and every way you could. I know this was such a longshot, but I am all about trying to give the very best to my loved ones. Robert certainly is a special person, and I really can’t wait to welcome him home. No matter what, I will be the luckiest girl in the entire world very soon. I can’t wait.

Tips For Men: Better Dating Conversations

I reached out to my good friend Will to do a blog post for me since he’s someone who is super-confident in the dating world, and though his advice always has a little dose of silliness, it’s usually spot-on.

Without further ado, here are his tips on how to carry a great conversation on a date:

  • Wing It: Some guys like to meticulously plan out every question and topic they want to bring up. Please learn how to have a fluid conversation without doing this. Women do not want a robot, they want a human being. Plus, it will save some awkwardness from pulling out the list of topics you have in your back pocket when you get stuck.
  • Be Nice, But Not “Fake Nice”: Being respectful is always important, but do not be so nice to the point that it doesn’t seem genuine. When someone tries too hard, it’s obvious they only have one goal in mind, and women aren’t stupid… Krista’s readers are intelligent, so you fellas are looking for someone with brains too (Not in a zombie sort of way, even with Halloween coming up and all).
  • Utilize Your Intelligence: This article is discussing what to do when dating quality women, so onward to the next tip — intelligent conversation. Women love to talk, so when they’re talking about themselves ask questions that you’re naturally curious about. For example, if she’s not from around here, ask her about her hometown and how different the culture is there.
  • Bond Over Hobbies: The best way to keep a conversation going is to talk about hobbies. On the first date, ask her what she likes to do and if you have some things in common, talk about that. Easy money! A good partner is someone you can do fun things with, so finding her interests early is awesome. For example, I’m a huge fan of basketball, so it would be advantageous to me to meet a lady who also knows that ball is life, since women that don’t know will never completely understand.

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  • Have A Sense of Humor: This is my bread and butter, my meal ticket. Women love a guy who has humor and wit. As a matter of fact, if you make a girl laugh frequently and you do not screw up too bad, you’ll most likely have a second date. I’ll bet $100 on it. Just don’t be too crude (my Achilles heel sometimes). If you want more detail on how I include humor on a date, pick up my new book Making Her Fall Head Over Heels… With Laughter. The book signing is actually next Thursday.
  • Be Confident, Not Cocky: Confidence is knowing you have the ability to do something without having to brag about it. Whenever someone says they are really good at something, I automatically question their claim. For example, if I titled this article “Reasons Will is the Most Charming Person on the Planet,” you, as the reader, will nitpick anything that can be interpreted otherwise just to disprove my point. Your date will do the same thing. I better take my own advice; my dates won’t know about my book.

Today’s lesson (Courtesy of Will): To sum it all up, just be authentic and have fun. Keep trying; a failed date is never a bad thing and honestly will likely happen more often than a successful one. Just learn from your mistakes (and victories!) and you will be a force to be reckoned with. Relax, bro!

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#TBT To Being An Olympian For The Day

Today I’m going to share a story I like to tell on a first date if a guy asks about my love of pranks (Which I have listed on my dating profile as a favorite activity).

My best friend and former roommate Audrey and I studied abroad in London during the 2012 summer Olympics.

We make a really great pair because she is more “type A” and makes sure any necessary plans we need are all taken care of, but I am more “type B” and ensure enough spontaneity (read: disorganization) to have a fun time. Playing pranks together in college was always a blast because of the ideas and action on my end, and planning ahead to make sure we wouldn’t get ourselves into a bind on her end.

Anyway, I got a tip that they were selling a few official Olympic jackets at the USA House. As I said before, I love pranks and have a mischievous mind, so immediately realized this was a great opportunity. I found Audrey after our classes were over and told her we needed to get on the Tube and head towards South Kensington. I explained my idea on the way, and Audrey was completely up for the prank.

Basically we plotted to purchase these jackets and wear them, along with other Nike gear, to the Olympic Village –a giant outdoor mall where all of the athletes hung out– and see if we could fool people into thinking we were real Olympians. We were lucky enough to snag two jackets in our size, and giggled as we hurried to The Village. 

Our excitement grew as we pulled up to The Village, but was quickly stifled when we walked around for ten minutes and nothing happened. After we made a few more laps we concluded that this was not going to work.

Until all of a sudden two little American girls ran up to us with paper and pens asking if they could get our autographs.

We kept our cool, smiled at them, and said, “of course.”

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not, but people really are like sheep. When they see any sort of crowd gathering, they will follow, whether or not they know what’s going on.

This fully worked to our advantage. As soon as the girls came up to us, others took notice. A line quickly formed to get photos with us, and just kept growing. We ended up having dozens of people waiting in line just to take a picture with us within a matter of minutes. It was crazy!

We got asked questions about our events and sloppily signed our real names when people asked for our autograph. Before we got to The Village Audrey and I had decided that our story was that we were on the USA swim team — she was a diver and I was a swimmer. This was perfect, as I swam through high school and could answer basic questions, and because Audrey is significantly shorter than I am, so there isn’t really any other sport that we both could have played.

The funniest thing to me was that many of these people were going to upload these photos with us to Facebook when they got home. They would come up with captions like, “We met Olympic swimmers today!” and proudly display these photos as a new profile picture — photos of two completely random American girls.

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We even ended up meeting a real former gold medalist for the USA basketball team, who was super excited to meet a few of the female swimmers because “swimming is his favorite sport to watch.”

For the most part my dates seem to think this story is pretty entertaining, and I have heard some pretty awesome prank stories from the gentlemen I’ve gone out with as well. I have also realized that I talk about Audrey almost as much as I talk about myself, which is fitting because everyone knows girls come as a package deal with their best friend.

Today’s lesson: You don’t have to work hard to get credit for being an Olympic athlete — you just have to be a convincing enough actress to make people believe you are one.