Tag: sweet

WE ARE ENGAGED!!!!!

~ kristalauren ~ 23 Comments

Hi Single in The Suburbs family!

You might have noticed that I’ve been gone for a little over a week now… Well that’s because I’ve just been busy getting engaged! Robert asked me to marry him last week in New York City, and I have been so excited since. I wanted to share the news with some of my close friends before announcing it to the world, but now that everyone knows I can’t wait to share some of the story with y’all.

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Two Christmases ago I would’ve never guessed that I would be spending the end of 2017 engaged. Actually, I kind of take that back, because two years ago was the first time Robert and I said we loved each other. All my friends knew from the start that my relationship with Robert was different than anything I’ve had before. Our hearts combined are a once in a lifetime love, and I’m so excited to have him by my side for forever.

This weekend is a little crazy because it’s my mom’s birthday and then mine, but I’ll be doing a lot of writing next week to give you guys the scoop. ❤

Quality Time

~ kristalauren ~ 1 Comment

This is the last of my five Love Languages posts. If you missed the other ones, here they are:

And now it’s time for my favorite of the five — quality time!

Quality time has always been high on my priority list, but the past couple of years it’s really been bumped to the top. Doing a deployment with someone you love is one of the hardest things I can think of. There are so many reasons I find it difficult, but a big one is that you don’t get to spend very much quality time with them — for like, almost an entire year. This has given me a great appreciation for the time I get to spend with Robert now.

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Robert and I both have quality time as our #1 LL. We went to my first Red Sox game recently and it was one of the best days!

Make sure you are fully present when you are spending quality time with your partner. This means putting your phone away, not running through a checklist in your mind of things you need to do, and temporarily pushing aside any worries or concerns you might have in your life to live in the present with them. When you are using quality time as a love language with someone, the emphasis should be on the word quality. Time is something that you sometimes have to give to things you do and do not care about. You go to the doctors office because you have to make sure you stay healthy, and you give your time to your employers in return for a paycheck. Giving time to a loved one needs to be different. It should be offered as a caring gesture and given because you want to bond and grow closer to someone.

Here are a few ways you can incorporate quality time into your love life:

  • Run errands together. This is a big one, guys! Errands are an inevitable part of life, and they are something every single person will have to do, likely several times a week. Going on outings to get groceries together or running to the post office as a team are so important for your growth as a couple. You get quality time in the car together and time to chat and bond while you pick out what you want to have for dinner that week. Do not split up when you go shopping just to make things faster; stick together and find each item as a team so that you can experience life together. It may not be as fast that way, but it’s a whole lot more valuable.
  • Make time for regular date nights. No, ordering takeout and watching football doesn’t count unless that’s something you both genuinely enjoy doing. Go out into the world and try a new restaurant or explore a new town together. Quality time doesn’t usually care where you are, rather it focuses more on enjoying each other’s company fully. Exploring new places is an awesome way to learn new things about each other — no matter how long you’ve been together — and it forces you to keep up with your plans of having a set date night.
  • Don’t always choose television. I know it’s so easy to get sucked into the tube, especially after a long day at work. TV is a great way to relax, but it isn’t always going to fulfill the quality time aspect of your partner’s life. Make dinner together while singing along to Taylor Swift, or take your dog for a nice, long walk.
  • On the other hand, having a weekly TV show you tune into together is a great way to bond. That way you have something fun to talk about together and can giggle or scream at the TV when something unexpected happens. I love watching The Bachelor with Robert, and he likes watching football or basketball with me. We started watching Big Brother this season, which has been a really fun topic of conversation for both of us. We’ve loved cheering the same people on, and debating who would be a more exciting winner — Josh or Paul. Now that the season is over we are going to start watching The Office because Robert has never seen it and doesn’t think he likes it… That was a dealbreaker that I suppose I overlooked when we first started dating because of his witty charm and strikingly handsome looks. Now that we’ve been seeing each other for almost two years, I think we have to change this about him. Please leave comments of encouragement and excitement about The Office so that Robert can see that it’s everything you could ever want in a TV show and more.

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Quality time seems like it would be a simple love language to master, however if it’s not something that comes naturally to someone it can be difficult to understand how to use this LL properly. If there isn’t a genuine desire for a connection, being in the same room doesn’t really fill the emotional needs of the person who craves QT. If this isn’t a natural desire of your heart, the more you venture outside your box of usual activities, the more you might get excited about spending time with your significant other.

Figure out what your Love Language is today, and perhaps more important, what your partner’s Love Language is. It is absolutely a game changer in a relationship and can make your bond just that much closer.

Friday Favorites: Summer Edition

~ kristalauren ~ 4 Comments

It’s been awhile since I’ve written little product reviews, so I figured it was about time I did a post about some of my favorite things for summertime. Since I have POTS and really need to focus on health and hydration, this is going to be all about healthy living this summer. Let me know in the comments if you have a great recommendation of things for me to try while it’s still hot out!

1. nuun Tablets

nuun tablets are my favorite thing to keep me hydrated when it’s hot out — and really throughout the year. I have a terribly off electrolyte and sodium balance in my body, so these little tablets are perfect to put in my Smart Water to keep me feeling good. My favorite flavor is watermelon, but I also like the lemon lime or strawberry lemonade nuuns!

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2. Mission Towel

My mission towel has kept me from fainting a good handful of times. My body overheats really easily, which causes my heart to race and blood pressure to drop way too dramatically. This is a huge nuisance, so anytime I go someplace outdoors I take my towel in my purse and just add water to activate the cooling cloth. I put it on my neck to lower my body temperature, and it really does work wonders. I think even just normal people who hate the heat or athletes would really benefit from having one of these!

3. Cotton Candy Grapes

CC grapes are literally my favorite summer snack. I could eat an entire box of these in one sitting if they weren’t so filling! (Note: I’ve never known grapes to be a filling food, which just shows how much I must eat at snacktime.) Please, if you’ve never tried these, go to the store and get them before they’re out of season. They aren’t genetically modified; I don’t know how they get the grapes to taste like this, but it’s wild!

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4. Rodan + Fields Foaming Sunless Tan

The products that initially drew me to Rodan + Fields were the Unblemish regimen and the Lash Boost, but I quickly discovered that their sunless tanner is incredible. I’ve never been someone who likes to sit out in the sun, but I love the way my skin looks with a nice brown glow. I had trouble finding a self tanner that wouldn’t streak or make my skin look orange (I’m looking at you, Tan Towel!), but somehow the foam makes it a lot easier to get full coverage and make the bottle last well into the summer. It was funny the first time I tried it because it was right after my beach trip, and Robert told me my tan looked really nice. I proceeded to lecture him about how I don’t get a really dark real tan, since I am careful to keep my skin protected from UV rays.

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5.Greek Yogurt

But not just any Greek yogurt — Maple Hill Creamery Greek yogurt! The cows are 100% grass-fed, and appear to live a pretty good life in their family-owned farms in New York. I am all about treating animals well, plus this yogurt is easily the best I’ve ever had. I got on the Greek yogurt bandwagon pretty early on, back when I was in high school and it was just becoming a popular thing. I’ve tried a lot of different types, and this is by far my favorite.

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BONUS: Root Beer Floats

This was the float that started it all. I went to a Bachelorette party last month and one of the bars we ended up at had root beer floats. While everyone else got a nice glass of wine, I decided to go ahead and treat myself to an ice cold float. I’m not much of a soda drinker (And I know I promised this post would be healthy — which is why this is a bonus item!), but this is easily my new favorite splurge.

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Why Y’all Are The Best

~ kristalauren ~ Leave a comment

You guys are so kind and never cease to make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. If you haven’t ever looked at the “comments” section on my blog, they are always filled with positivity and sweetness. I really feel like my community on Single in The Suburbs has become a nice little family, and I couldn’t ask for better people to have met on the Internet.

I wrote something awhile back about my very short experience of dealing with very mild cyber trolls, and will be sharing that in the near future, as I think the world needs more people like you who are kind and supportive. I also found a million and one rough drafts I have written, so don’t be too surprised if some people from my past come up in the near future.

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Lastly, I just realized I never shared the final story about what the Patriots did for Robert, so I’ll be posting about that this week too. He and I have been enjoying a lot of quality time together since he’s been home, as soldiers are required to take time off when they get back from a deployment. We haven’t had any crazy adventures, but it has been really nice just having a normal dating life and I’ve even had him chauffeur me to a few of my doctors appointments. Wooo!

Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic Sunday, and I can’t wait to share more of my dating posts with you soon!

Friday Favorite: The Bouqs Co.

~ kristalauren ~ 4 Comments

I figured since Valentine’s Day is coming up that I’d share a few of my favorite products with y’all this week. This Friday I want to feature something that is essentially sending a box full of joy — The Bouqs Company!

There is nothing that makes my day more than a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I’ve used a lot of different flower delivery companies in my eight years of adulthood, and I have to say nobody holds a candle to The Bouq’s Co. Their flowers are so incredibly fresh, and they offer a very generous amount in every bouquet.

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This was the bouquet that started it all. My friend Kalika sent me these flowers after a bad breakup and I’ve been obsessed with the company ever since!

I got the big bundle of red and white roses to take to the airport to welcome Robert home to the United States with. When I opened the box it felt like I was hit with a wall of floral perfume. It really is more than a gift — it’s a whole experience!

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Along with red, white, and blue balloons and a sparkly sign, this just really pushed the welcome home over the top to a beautifully fun level. A week and a half later and the flowers were still sitting in the kitchen for everyone to enjoy!

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So if you’re stumped at where to start for Valentine’s Day or to just say “I love you” to a loved one just because, flowers are a great place to start. Never forget to write a sweet little note inside too! Cards are my favorite part of a gift because they are like getting a tiny piece of someone’s heart.

BONUS: I noticed that Groupon has a deal right now for 50% off — you can get $40 of flowers for just $20! Most likely you’ll get a more expensive bouquet, but $20 off is nothing to sneeze at… That’s like, 2 burritos from Chipotle and some change. #win

Does He Care For You?

~ kristalauren ~ 7 Comments

Did anyone else listen to Dr. Laura growing up?

My mom and I would turn her on in the morning, and she’s all about the “tough love” approach, and tries to help young women realize their worth. Something she used to say to callers stuck with me.

She used to always tell women that they should not marry a man who wouldn’t “swim through shark-infested waters to bring her lemonade.” Though this example is extreme, I remember questioning things with an ex boyfriend of mine who didn’t seem to care about what I wanted — even with the little simple things in life. I particularly remember thinking of this quote when I lived in the city and I had this gentleman come visit. I was bummed because I had been PMSing, and I really wanted an Insomnia cookie. Now, this situation is dire even if you are just a regular person craving the best cookie in the world, but during “that time of the month” you won’t stop thinking about it until you have one… Or ten. Girls, you can relate, right?!

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Anyway, the bakery was six blocks from my apartment and we were walking there on a chilly winter night. After about three blocks, my suitor said he was cold and wanted to turn around. He decided it wasn’t a good night to go, as we would have to double our walk home. I was bundled up and though I was cold, I was just happy that we were together and getting out of the house. I playfully suggested we just finish the trip, but he was insistent — and I was a pushover. We turned around and although I didn’t really care about the cookie anymore, I did care about the way my boyfriend had been treating me lately. He wasn’t attentive and though he was fine inconveniencing me, it was never alright for me to do the same in our relationship. Things weren’t even.

I have no doubt that Robert would do whatever it takes to get me what I need in life. Part of me even thinks that he’s someone who would actually swim with sharks if it meant making me happy, but I don’t plan on ever testing that theory. The point being, I encourage you to find someone who cares about your desires — big and small! Maybe it’s my experience with a chronic illness, but I do want to be with someone who will take good care of me. I want to be with a man who doesn’t just do the minimum amount of work he needs to in order to make the relationship work, but instead I’d like to be with someone who enjoys seeing me happy and doesn’t feel like doing kind things in our relationship is always a big chore.

Today’s lesson: Be with someone who knows what sacrifice looks like and is willing to make them for you sometimes. You are absolutely not being unrealistic in thinking that you can find someone who will give in the same way you will in a relationship.

Men Are Not Dogs

~ kristalauren ~ 5 Comments

Well this is a strange headline, huh?

What I mean by “men are not dogs” is that men, unlike dogs, do not need to be trained. Yes, they should be raised to be respectful and kind, but when you are looking for a grown man to date you should absolutely not go into it with a mindset that you need to teach him how to treat you.

“I can train him to buy me flowers,” or open doors, or hold my hand, or [insert task you want your dream boyfriend to do]. It isn’t your job to mother a man, and one really surefire reality of life is that you can rarely change another person. Sure you can tell someone what you like and watch their actions closely after a conversation, but you should never go into a relationship expecting someone to change a laundry list of things for you.

I’m going to share a personal anecdote to show how I learned this lesson the hard way.

I used to date someone I really liked, but our relationship just didn’t feel  very romantic. I am someone who absolutely loves the little things in life. I adore little gestures that say “I love you” like leaving each other notes, cooking for one another, and yes — I love chivalry.

Boy #1

This first person that I dated wasn’t into showing me he loved me in any of the ways my heart wanted. I remember even telling him at one point that I thought it was nice when he opened the car door for me and I really appreciated when guys did that; this struck a pretty strong nerve for him. #1 told me he didn’t know why in the world I wanted him to do something like that and that it wasn’t worth fighting about.  I didn’t realize something like this was fight-worthy, I thought to myself. I wasn’t trying to argue, I just thought it would be nice for him to know that I appreciated the gesture so there might be a repeat. Later I realized “the door” wasn’t really even about the door at all. It was about the pile of things I felt I wasn’t getting out of this relationship. That was the most one-sided relationship I have ever been in, and although I gave up so many of my dreams for this gentleman (huge mistake; I will write about this another day!), bought him presents and little gift baskets to show that I cared, and even abided to his wishes of talking to him less,* I never felt fulfilled in our relationship, even when he did.

This wasn’t because he was doing anything wrong, though. He just didn’t show love in the ways I need to feel loved. Back then I thought I was being kind by giving him “tips” on simple ways to love me in ways I understood better, but now I realize we just weren’t the right fit.

I want someone who will remember our anniversaries and enjoy celebrating them together, someone who gives me his time, and someone who is as kind and caring to me as I am to him.

*In hindsight it is hilarious that I once “showed someone I loved them” by agreeing to cut off most of our communication.

Gentleman #2

This second person is the complete opposite of #1. He is someone I’ve often wondered how I had the pleasure of meeting, as he is one of the kindest and most thoughtful people I have ever met.

On our first date he was chivalrous, but this behavior continued seamlessly into our 30th date. He opened my car door any time we went out, always wanted to be the one to pick me up and take me out, and goes above and beyond to show me that he cares. He has written me letters, cooked complicated five course Italian dinners, and often called me during his lunch breaks just to say “hello.” This is someone I think is so incredibly special that I don’t know how I got lucky enough to meet him and see that many of the sweet little joys in life aren’t just “Krista things” that are unrealistic traits to want in a boyfriend. There are men out there who are a million times better than the ones you see in the movies. They’re real, raw, and far from perfect, but they love you so fiercely there isn’t any room for you to question where you stand in their life.

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Today’s lesson: Dogs are smart, loyal, and loving companions. You really can’t expect any human to measure up to this amazing animal, but wait for the person who does make you feel loved in the same way your dog loves you. This is a kind and selfless love with so much joy that your heart feels like it might explode.

My Secret Admirer

~ kristalauren ~ Leave a comment

I have a kind of fun throwback this week. I’ve been cleaning out my room and happened to find a bunch of letters I received in college. Some were from pen pals, others from my ex, and even more from my mom and roommates. This was one that I had completely forgotten about receiving my first Valentine’s Day at school. I had a secret admirer who didn’t reveal himself until years later, even though I kind of had a hunch back when I received it.

The letter was so beautiful that I got his permission to publish it! Enjoy the only letter I have gotten from a Secret Admirer before (But you only really need one, right?):

 

Dear Krista,

“Life is divided into three terms — that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us know from the past to profit by the present, and from the present to live better in the future.” — William Wordsworth

This quote has always been of inspiration and of compassionate intelligence to me, so I hope sharing it with you will be of some great meaning and benefit you in the same ways, and in those which it has not. Normally, Valentine’s Day is not a day which I find overly exciting, however, I find myself giddy with excitement like a young child before Christmas morning! Hopefully this letter reaches you as the first and most enjoyable of the day, but I most certainly hope you enjoy the rest of this special day’s treats. Ideally I would have hoped to personally deliver this letter to you; however, that would defeat the purpose of being a secret admirer! Either way, this should wake you with a smile.

I find you to be the most intoxicating girl I have ever met, you are beautiful in ways I never thought possible, and unique in every way I thought impossible, and I get drunk on your unique personality and genuinely beautiful smile. This makes you a very special girl, and not one to be taken lightly. As I hope to show you through this letter, I do not take you lightly, I do not take you for granted, and I do believe you are everything that every man should be looking for in a lady. You are a strong, independent woman, of that I am sure, and I would never want to stand in the way of your hopes and dreams, especially because they are a prominent piece of your personality. I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever known, you are sweet, caring and kind, and sometimes I think you might be too much of some of these for your own good. Your sarcasm is hilarious, it makes me laugh uncontrollably and it is one of the reasons I cannot get enough of you, it it such an unconventional trait for you to have, or so I think, and I find that it throws me for a twist every time it shines through. My favorite thing of all, though, is undoubtedly, oh wait, I cannot tell you such a thing, because it would give me away and this is most certainly a “secret admirer’s” letter. I hope by now you are blushing and in deep thought of who this mysterious person could be that is writing you such an adoring, shall we call it, a love letter? Hmmm? Why not, it is Valentine’s Day and I do love who you are, as well as care for you no matter what, you will always be someone I cherish, because you are an incredible person. If every girl were more like you, this world would be a better place, and that is something I respect you for most sincerely.

If this were another letter, I would begin to share with you some of the most treasured times I have shared with you, but I am afraid that if I would do so now it would certainly reveal my mysterious identity and this “secret admirer” letter would be ruined. I cannot see myself doing that for obvious reasons, one being what an amazing job I have done thus far, and the second most important being the effort I have put into said “amazing job” (unsure of why I put quotations around that, ait sort of makes me seem like I am mocking my effort and that in reality this letter is in no way amazing, haha). With all that being said, and with using my first and last “haha, or lol, or any other common poor writing technique/slang terminology,” I would like you to know that I am smiling most endearingly at the thought of all the great times I have spent with you, and I hope that in your heart you too are smiling, if not because of the times we have shared together, than because you should read the rest of the letter knowing that you have made me a better and happier man.

Lastly Krista, I know that you are knowledgeable in the field of writing, so please do not critique me too harshly, please and thank you!

With pleasure and love,
Your Secret Admirer

PS — within the line beginning “Lastly” there is a clue as to who I am, if you figure it out and you believe me to be the writer of this letter and you present said clue to me from that line, I will have no choice but to tell you the God’s honest truth as to whether or not I wrote it, but just to be clear, you must know the correct clue that I have given you, and you must be sure of it. Therefore, you should not present the accusation of me being the “secret admirer” as a question, more so as a statement and the correct clue as your reasoning.

“I told her, how he pin’d and ah!

The low, the deep, the pleading tone,

With which I sang another’s Love,

Interpreted my own.

She listen’d with a flitting Blush,

With downcast Eyes and modest Grace;

And she forgave me that I gaz’d

Too fondly on her face!”

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Friends Are Golden

~ kristalauren ~ 2 Comments

One really amazing thing I have figured out about dating someone who is deployed is all of the support that is offered back home. I do realize part of it is just that I am surrounded with incredible friends, but I also think people seem to be able to sympathize with you a little easier with this than other tough situations in life. Maybe it’s all of the military movies — I’m not usually a crier at movies, but 9 times out of 10 I do cry in Army-themed films — or maybe it’s because so many people know and care for someone in the military.

Having someone you love go overseas to a dangerous area is a scary thing. It’s filled with a lot of unknowns and you feel a strange sense of loss, as you are not able to communicate with your soldier as often as you are used to.

I’ve had so many people reach out and I’ve felt very supported, though. My best friend has been extremely encouraging, making the 9 months seem a lot shorter than they are. She surprised me earlier this week with a craft — she had purchased two fishbowls, a bunch of Mancala beads, and USA stickers to create a visual countdown. Every day now I will be moving one bead from the “Days to Go” jar to the “Days Down,” until one jar is completely empty and the other is full, meaning he is home in the states again. I’d be lying if I said the visual didn’t feel slightly daunting, but it does feel good putting one bead into the second container every day!

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We crafted in a coffee shop; clearly everyone there thought we were super-cool.

Not only was this a great idea, but it was moving that she cares for me so much that she would take the time to come up with an idea and go shopping to make it a reality. One thing I love about our relationship is that I feel like she and I can be really cutesy together — we’ve been going on a lot of little fun dates and adventures with each other since we’ve both been single ladies. (As a side note, I apparently love being cutesy with people, as this is the third time I’ve used the word on this blog… Yikes.)

Furthermore, I’ve had friends reach out telling me about their experiences with deployments, as well as putting me in touch with other girls who are currently going through the same thing so I can have a support system of people who understand. I love that when you collect difficult experiences in life you are at least able to help others feel less alone when they are struggling.

I am tearing up just writing about this — I am so incredibly blessed. Thank you, all of you, for being so amazing.

Everything I Ever Wanted

~ kristalauren ~ 2 Comments

I’m absolutely amazed at the way my heart has been feeling. As soon as I got out of my last relationship I was excited to take time to myself and then eventually find someone in the area who I could see as often as I’d like. I wasn’t going to be in a long distance relationship anymore, and I would be able to experience what it was like having someone I loved in the same area as me.

Life doesn’t always work out the way you think it will.

Today I teared up because I miss someone in another country. I fell in love far sooner than I would have “liked,” and never in a million years thought I could feel this way about another person.

This long distance has been different than my last relationship, though. He is so perfectly attentive and I don’t feel like we are emotionally apart, even though we can’t see each other or even talk as much as I would like. I miss our dates and playing games together. I miss people-watching and I miss him goofing off to make me laugh.

I think of him every time I see an F-150, and I listen to Brad Paisley in the car now. I carry a piece of his heart everywhere I go, and I feel proud of him when I see an American flag waving in the wind.

I’m focusing on myself and am fully working towards my own personal goals, but I cannot help but be excited for December. I feel like a teenager again with a countdown on my phone and a name scribbled throughout my journal.

This is love in its sweetest form.

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Today’s lesson: Sometimes love is having all the feelings all at once. Your heart feels like it’s about to burst, but in the best way you could ever imagine.