Friends: S1, Episodes 2 And 3. Ross Is Still A Creep.

I’m on the second episode of Friends and ready to laugh a little tonight. I think I’ll be doing quite a few recaps during the end of the basketball and hockey seasons. Thank goodness we aren’t one of those families who watch a lot of baseball or I’d be screwed!

The episode starts off fast. The friends are all talking about how important kissing is to women. Relatable.

Ross is at his job right now. He’s with some cave people and his boss and oh my gosh he is boring with a capital “B.” Here comes his ex wife! (Or at least one of them anyway) He hates that she looks great. OH MY GOSH wait she’s pregnant. Is it Ross’ baby?! This show doesn’t waste any time.

Monica is really freaking out about her family coming. Now Rachel lost her engagement ring. I’m a little bored. The jokes just aren’t landing with me right now, and the fake laughter is getting on my nerves. Chandler isn’t being very funny but put his hands on his hips and tried so hard to deliver some of his jokes.

Rachel thinks her engagement ring is in the lasagna Monica made. Now I’m craving Italian food. They’re digging through it and Phoebe found it just as Ross announced he’s going to be a father. He’s also wearing a buttondown shirt made of jeans material and a purple striped tie. Was this ever a normal look?

Is it just me or does Ross stare off into the distance a lot? I’m sorry, but he’s so annoying. I digress.

I just zoned out for a few minutes while Monica and Ross had dinner with their family. It was kind of boring, but Ross had to announce that he got his ex wife pregnant, so I guess that was maybe pertinent to the show.

Now he’s sweeping for Rachel at the coffee shop. He’s trying to be cutsey and it was annoying at first, but it’s very back and forth for me. Okay, I lied. I’m just trying to be nicer about Ross, but it doesn’t feel authentic.

Rachel is just chilling with Dr. Farber now. She’s wearing overalls and looks kind of cute. Weren’t those supposed to come back into style this season or something? I would be all over that tbh. Doctor Farber is a weird dude. He went on his honeymoon to Aruba (yay!) with Rachel’s best friend.

Ross is at the OBGYN with his ex wife and her girlfriend now. They’re trying to come up with a name for the baby. Now they’re seeing her in the sonogram.

I’m still bored.

Let’s just power through to the next episode. Season 1, Episode 3: “The One with The Thumb.”

Okay, Ross just landed his first joke with me and he’s charmed me enough to make me laugh out loud. He’s talking about his childhood dog going to live on “The Milner’s farm,” which obviously doesn’t exist. I like his hilariously pure innocence in this instance, and he’s moved up maybe a point in my book.

Friends Season One, Episode One

Now that Game of Thrones is over, I decided to start a new series that I’m also incredibly behind the curve for — Friends. 

I somehow never really cared to watch it growing up, but I’ve seen a few episodes here or there recently and was surprised at how funny I thought it was. Particularly, the episode where Ross/Joey gets a spray tan (They both have dark hair and it’s hard to tell them apart rn). I cried I was laughing so hard! I hope there are plenty of other hilarious moments like this, because honestly it was one of the best episodes of anything on TV.

Ross! It was Ross. Okay, I also automatically hate Ross because I know all about “the break.” Maybe I’ll change my opinion once I start the series and I’m going to try to have an open mind, but ew. He’s so needy and skeezy. Like, if I was with a guy and we took a break, I would not want him back if 1) He literally could not be alone for a day without going out and desperately trying to find someone to help ease his pain. Life is hard enough as it is; you want a significant other who can handle pain without needing to lean on a woman at all times. 2) He was a bad enough communicator to not get any facts straight from the source, and just make a hasty assumption that led to even hastier actions. And 3) He didn’t realize my worth and that he should fight for me before giving up on the relationship. I don’t want a guy who doesn’t think our relationship is worth fighting for and doing everything in his power to make things work. I’d also be grossed out that he immediately lost interest in me and went off to find some sort of comfort in someone else. That 100% is not true love. If Ross wanted any sort of future with Rachel and really cared about her, he would be thinking of ways to make things work and be too upset to think about getting with another girl, or even want to. Getting over a broken heart takes time, so he didn’t really value their relationship very much. He should have at the very least had the self control to stay in his apartment, binge eat a container of Ben & Jerry’s and watch Arnold Schwarzenegger movies or whatever it is guys do when they’re having girl troubles.

Anyway, so if I have an irrational or seemingly unjustified hatred of Ross right off the bat, that’s why. Maybe Rachel is a big jerk too, I don’t know, but if she is I’ll go ahead and not like her later! I don’t have enough information yet. I also remember an episode where Phoebe sings about a Smelly Cat, and another where the brunette girl (Courtney Cox’s character) gets married to someone or engaged or something. She’s in London I think, and I don’t think it’s to Chandler, but maybe it is? I know they end up together, but I can’t remember if she was married once before or not. I know her brother, Ross, gets married like, six million times (Seriously, what is his problem?! Okay, I digress. I’m so sorry for all you Ross fans, I’ll try to get better).

I’ll go ahead and start the episode now, and come back tomorrow to see what I think of it! I don’t know if I’m going to do season reviews or what, but I might just live “tweet” my thoughts on episode 1 and go from there.

Free

Breakups from a serious relationship are so strange.

When you’re with someone long enough, they become a part of your routine. You have little inside jokes and holiday traditions but then, in a second, all of this is gone.

journal
I wrote this in my journal the day of my first breakup.

Sometimes you see a plane and remember how you used to be long distance. Any time you were flying it was to see him. You sit on the playground with the kids you nanny and think about the time you talked your way out of trouble with a policeman while you were swinging late at night, and about the stargazing you did there together. You don’t usually think of him when you eat pizza, but sometimes take a moment to reminisce about the dozens of times he came over to make one together. You’d laugh as his inexperienced hands kneaded the dough while he asked if he was doing it right a million times.

It’s great being able to look back at a relationship and smile — it shows that at least some of it was real. Some of the memories are happy, but at the end of the day you realize sometimes when something is broken it isn’t meant to be fixed. It couldn’t have been fixed, and although you tried, you finally realize you’re moving on to something new. You’re finding something that will actually belong to you, instead of just something fleeting, something borrowed. He wasn’t really yours, and never will be, but you’re okay with that.

For the first time, you realize your life is going to be more than just fine. It’s going to be great — without him. This is what it is to be free.

#TBT To Being An Olympian For The Day

Today I’m going to share a story I like to tell on a first date if a guy asks about my love of pranks (Which I have listed on my dating profile as a favorite activity).

My best friend and former roommate Audrey and I studied abroad in London during the 2012 summer Olympics.

We make a really great pair because she is more “type A” and makes sure any necessary plans we need are all taken care of, but I am more “type B” and ensure enough spontaneity (read: disorganization) to have a fun time. Playing pranks together in college was always a blast because of the ideas and action on my end, and planning ahead to make sure we wouldn’t get ourselves into a bind on her end.

Anyway, I got a tip that they were selling a few official Olympic jackets at the USA House. As I said before, I love pranks and have a mischievous mind, so immediately realized this was a great opportunity. I found Audrey after our classes were over and told her we needed to get on the Tube and head towards South Kensington. I explained my idea on the way, and Audrey was completely up for the prank.

Basically we plotted to purchase these jackets and wear them, along with other Nike gear, to the Olympic Village –a giant outdoor mall where all of the athletes hung out– and see if we could fool people into thinking we were real Olympians. We were lucky enough to snag two jackets in our size, and giggled as we hurried to The Village. 

Our excitement grew as we pulled up to The Village, but was quickly stifled when we walked around for ten minutes and nothing happened. After we made a few more laps we concluded that this was not going to work.

Until all of a sudden two little American girls ran up to us with paper and pens asking if they could get our autographs.

We kept our cool, smiled at them, and said, “of course.”

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not, but people really are like sheep. When they see any sort of crowd gathering, they will follow, whether or not they know what’s going on.

This fully worked to our advantage. As soon as the girls came up to us, others took notice. A line quickly formed to get photos with us, and just kept growing. We ended up having dozens of people waiting in line just to take a picture with us within a matter of minutes. It was crazy!

We got asked questions about our events and sloppily signed our real names when people asked for our autograph. Before we got to The Village Audrey and I had decided that our story was that we were on the USA swim team — she was a diver and I was a swimmer. This was perfect, as I swam through high school and could answer basic questions, and because Audrey is significantly shorter than I am, so there isn’t really any other sport that we both could have played.

The funniest thing to me was that many of these people were going to upload these photos with us to Facebook when they got home. They would come up with captions like, “We met Olympic swimmers today!” and proudly display these photos as a new profile picture — photos of two completely random American girls.

2012
We even ended up meeting a real former gold medalist for the USA basketball team, who was super excited to meet a few of the female swimmers because “swimming is his favorite sport to watch.”

For the most part my dates seem to think this story is pretty entertaining, and I have heard some pretty awesome prank stories from the gentlemen I’ve gone out with as well. I have also realized that I talk about Audrey almost as much as I talk about myself, which is fitting because everyone knows girls come as a package deal with their best friend.

Today’s lesson: You don’t have to work hard to get credit for being an Olympic athlete — you just have to be a convincing enough actress to make people believe you are one.