Krista Lauren

I am feeling quite POTSie this weekend. I don’t know if it’s the change in the weather, if it’s because it’s my “time of the month,” or if it’s unrelated to anything at all, but I have been dizzy and feeling shitty. A lot of people try to come up with reasons for things so that we can feel better. If I can tie the fact that I feel sick to something, it means it will go away as quickly as it began, and I’ll be doing great again.

The truth is, though, every time I get this level of dizzy, I worry. I am scared to get symptomatic again. I don’t know how I was so happy and positive before; I have so many responsibilities now, and it feels hard to take lots of time to just rest. I know I need it, and I had a great weekend with Robert and my pups, but it still sucks not feeling like I can make my own meals or be productive. I like being independent and I am not good at relying on others for things that I want. Mentally, I have a big list of things I want to do and achieve. Physically, I have some limitations. I hate that, so much. I am in a space where I feel like I have so much I want to do, but I also need to prioritize. So, I am writing this blog with my thumbs on my phone because my index finger hurts and is always purple. That is a good start.

I am also writing this, despite feeling like I cannot think straight. But I have heard that it’s important to just do it, even if you won’t do things perfectly. That doing something, even if it’s flawed, is better than staying idle because at least you’re working towards improving.

This might be different because I am then intentionally publishing imperfect pieces of work, but screw it! The people who have taken the time to subscribe to this blog are probably people who enjoy imperfect things, as that’s a story I began this with.

Anyway, I have nothing of importance to say, but wanted to write an update. I also attached a picture of my dogs from an outing a few weekends ago, because they are angels from above, and I love them so much.