Krista Lauren

My hands hurt a lot lately. Tonight I haven’t been able to sleep; I keep fading but my right hand is really bothering me.

I sometimes wonder if I am meant to find something else other than writing. Does it mean that I need to pivot? Or does this mean I need to overcome?

I don’t know. I’m too tired to think, but I’ve grown accustomed to not resting when I’m hurting. I bottle it all up, and try to feel lucky for where I am today. I am lucky! But I do not remember what a life with no physical pain is like, and I am scared sometimes about what my arthritis might look like in the future or what normal pains of growing old will look like.

A lot of things change as you go through life, but a constant for me has always been writing. I think with my hands, far better than I do through my lips. I used to write a lot of letters, and writing has been the best outlet for me. I write for work, and I want to write for fun, too. I have so much in my head that I want to put to paper. Soon.