Krista Lauren

I am so tired! How many times am I going to write this?

I cannot sleep, though. It’s quite the catch 22. I keep tossing and turning but can’t get comfortable, and I am huge, despite being “only” 25 weeks. My abs feel like they are tearing someplace every time I move, and I am uncomfortable. How in the world am I supposed to keep growing?

Being pregnant can be a little lonely, even with good support. The time I spend lying awake at night, Googling things and thinking about what is to come, is kind of odd. I remember almost ten years ago when I was struggling with POTS, I woke up a lot in the middle of the night. I still have pictures of Snapchats and texts that Robert and I would send during those early morning hours. I feel more comforted being next to him now, but what’s running through my mind is different because there are a lot of new unknowns.

I do not really remember a life before POTS (that honestly feels like another lifetime ago) and I’m starting to feel a little scared about things, which I think is very normal. I have felt very calm about pregnancy most of the time, but I’m becoming a little anxious about having to deliver a baby. And raising a child! Wow, what an honor, but what a responsibility.

I am too tired to keep writing. I will go waste some time on Instagram until my eyes close. Listen — I know the blue light is bad for sleeping. You think I haven’t tried just falling back asleep? It’s been an hour and a half, it just isn’t happening. So I came on here to write about nothing. A blog about nothing. Maybe Seinfeld’s inception was due to a pregnant woman who could not sleep.