Krista Lauren

Today I watched our baby kick my ribs. You can see his feet when he does this; it’s honestly adorable and I’ll miss those tiny kicks soon.

Something that’s weird about childbirth is that as much as the husband, the nurses, and loved ones can help, you’re kind of stuck in this pain alone. I have been scared of childbirth since before ever getting pregnant, but I realized something kind of crazy and neat today. Baby and I are in this together. We’re both going to have a crazy day (hopefully not longer than that!) and our bodies will be tested. We’re about to go through something the two of us. I have to be strong and tough for him. He’ll be going through it to an extent too and will be doing his thing to get into the outside world. We both will be very physical and exhausted after this. He may not know what’s going on, but that could be even scarier in a way!

I know mothers bond with their babies immediately, and I have read that babies are especially dependent on mom for the first three months when they are their most vulnerable. Babies enjoy security and feel like they are still in the womb for a little bit, which is why you swaddle them and keep them cozy. This is also why they say the best way to help a newborn, is to help mom. Babies need their mothers more than anything at this young age— after all, she is all they really know. That is so incredibly special that it kind of makes the fear of childbirth wash away (until I overthink and then panic about it again).

I’m still not feeling quite ready to take care of a little human, but I do know that I love him so much and can’t wait to hold him soon enough. I am very emotional these days and have a feeling it’s just the beginning.