Victoria’s Secret Ain’t A Secret No More

Well, this tops out at the most embarrassing moment of my life. Alongside falling down an entire flight of stairs in front of the football team in high school, but let’s be real, almost anything embarrasses a high school girl.

I went on a very casual coffee date last week, and was excited to wear jeans and a new flannel shirt I got. I felt pretty darn cute as I was leaving the house, but was running late, so didn’t get a chance to glance in the mirror before I finally left.

Now I have a habit of staying in comfy clothes when I’m lounging at home, and typically do my hair and makeup first, then just throw on whatever outfit I’m going to wear.

As I was saying, this particular day I had to rush, so I grabbed the earrings I wanted to wear to put on in the car, and hurried out the door.

I rushed through the rain into the coffee shop and took off my coat. My date looked a bit surprised to see me, and I immediately felt a little self-conscious, but brushed it off and thought he might just be kind of nervous. The uncomfortable feeling kept coming back, though, because he kept glancing down instead of looking at my face if you catch my drift. Which I thought was funny, because there isn’t much to offer when you are wearing a flannel shirt (Or so I thought…).

Guys, I forgot to button most of my shirt. I think I missed like, four buttons at the top. I was wearing a very pretty pink lacy bra, too, which just made the situation even more uncomfortable.

I’m normally pretty good with dealing with situations like that, so when I got back from the restroom I was just like, “Um. I had no idea my shirt was like that, just FYI. This is really awkward and embarrassing because I feel like I probably gave off a hilariously wrong first impression.” I giggled awkwardly, as he chuckled and I’m sure was thinking about what a goof I was.

He said something along the lines of, “I was a bit confused when you first walked in, but I didn’t want to be rude and offend you.”

Men of the Internet — If you go out with a girl and she looks like she is having a major wardrobe malfunction, please SAY SOMETHING! Or better yet, females of the Internet — if you see a girl in my position please tell her she looks ridiculous! Nobody would do something like that on purpose. Life isn’t a Victoria’s Secret catalog.

Today’s lesson: always look in a full length mirror right before meeting up with a date.

What is your worst wardrobe malfunction? I think most of us have been here at some point, as I’ve heard stories from as little as needing to examine a zipper to horrifically tucking a skirt into underwear.