One thing about love is that you sometimes don’t understand how it works. I think we often mistake anxiety for feelings of love.
Taylor Swift’s music has always spoken to me, and Out of The Woods was my anthem with a guy who was once in my life. When the acoustic version of the song came out, Taylor introduced it perfectly. I could so relate to every word she said and felt like she was speaking about my connection to this gentleman.
Things with us felt so shaky and I never knew when what we had might just decide to crash and burn. I felt myself slipping down further and further on his list of priorities and did everything I felt was humanly possible to try to pull him back towards me. Nothing worked.
After months of feeling like this I finally realized we were falling apart.
We still had fun when we were together, but I was so up and down and didn’t realize that wasn’t normal. I cried as much as I laughed with him, but my feelings were so all over the place that I mistook them for butterflies. I thought that was the way love was supposed to feel and that even though I wasn’t currently a priority of his, that I would be one day.
Now I realize I wouldn’t have ever come before things like work in the future for him if I wasn’t even in a dating relationship. I would never have been a priority in the way I want to make someone mine in my life. Relationships just don’t work if you’re not on the same page with the really important things in life.
Today’s lesson: It isn’t normal to feel like your relationship is always on the verge of breaking. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel secure. I promise those kind of relationships do exist, even though it might not feel like it when you are used to being on edge.