Survivor

I love Destiny’s Child’s song  Survivor. It played as my anthem when I was going through a really difficult breakup, and I have even listened to it when I needed extra motivation to work towards getting better from my illness. The overall message of the song is that people can survive and work hard on their own, whether or not the person they think they need in life is around anymore.

There have been several times the past couple years where I’ve felt incredibly alone. Whether it was because of a friend I thought was going to be there no matter what not being around when I needed her or a breakup with someone I thought I had a long future with, I have been able to manage everything life has thrown at me thus far. It by no means has always been easy, but I have lived through every hard twist and turn that has been thrown my way.

I love writing about my experiences because I feel like I am an incredibly average person. I’m not someone who was born with a natural strong fire and determination burning in my soul, and faith is in no way an easy thing for me. I question the bad things that happen to good people in life; and I forget to thank God for my blessings, but still reach out when I need His help and support.

My blog feels like a very up and down journey of emotions, but that’s because those are the times that are worth writing about (And sometimes I write six things in a day but space out the posts so I don’t overwhelm my page with a zillion different feelings). Strong emotions are what connect to people, and they are what inspire artists to draw and paint and write and sing.

This week I’ve felt particularly like I’ve needed my boyfriend back in the states so that I can have someone to lean on. There have been moments throughout the deployment where I’ve really felt numb because I don’t always have someone to talk to or turn to here when the going gets tough. But you know what is so cool about this? I have learned that I can get through trying times, even without having someone right here by my side. I have learned that I am strong and I can get through the ups and downs of life without having a boyfriend or close friend here in my neck of the woods at all times to talk to at all times. God made the human heart a really strong and resilient thing, and sometimes life is amazing and lets our heart become enveloped in warmth and happiness, but other times feel darker and hopeless. It is so important to never let the darkness win. I am a very firm believer in praising Jesus through the good and the bad, even when it’s one of the hardest things we can do. I often don’t take my own advice — it’s freaking hard — but I am working on it and finding that my heart is changing very slowly. The more I am able to put my life in God’s hands the more content I feel and find myself being able to live my life to glorify Him.

Today’s lesson: Life rarely goes the way we want it to, but that doesn’t mean the end of our world is near. Learning to work hard and dance in the rain doesn’t make us delusional; it makes us stronger. Human beings are so resilient. You are so strong and can handle what life is throwing at you right now. Let us stay united as human beings — no matter what our differences are, and spread love in the world. That, my friends, is how we can make a difference as an individual. Always be kind.