It’s always funny meeting up with people I haven’t seen in awhile or don’t know very well and having them tell me how great my life has seemed lately. I also love hearing people who I haven’t kept in great touch with have kept up with my writing. Reading is the best gift you could ever give to someone who loves to write.
I just wanted to write a little reminder that Single in The Suburbs is only a little peek into my life, and far from the entirety of it. Yes, I write about some of the more intimate parts — namely my love life and dealing with a chronic illness — but I have so many other stories worth telling that I don’t share on here. I have others’ privacy to respect and I often have little things that happen in the day that aren’t really worth writing about, but that I would tell a friend.
Another thing I wanted to touch on today is the feeling of loneliness. I think life often happens in seasons, and you can’t expect every season to be as amazing as the last one. Sometimes we need to be bored or challenged to grow. In theory it sounds like it would be amazing to be happy all the time, but when I really think about it that wouldn’t make me a very dynamic person. Some of my most relatable writing has come from my deepest pain and greatest struggles. People aren’t meant to be perfect, nor is life.
Lately I’ve had a season of loneliness. I think part of it is the change in weather and possibly a sudden drop in Vitamin D and outdoors time, but the other half is what has been going on in my life. It can be really hard making new, close friends at this age, and many of my close friendships have been kind of put to the side because of new jobs, moves, and significant others. Somehow I thought as we went into our mid twenties that friendships would be easy, but in reality it feels like college was the simplest time. If a good friend got a new boyfriend who occupied most of her time there were so many other people around to keep me company, whereas now there aren’t so many people who are super close by.
I think a lot of readers think I have things all figured out since I am in a new, comfortable relationship, but a boyfriend has never been my entire source of entertainment or support. Mine is overseas right now, and I don’t get to talk to him a ton or have date nights on the weekend. I am so happy that I met a really great guy, but that doesn’t make my life magically easy or complete. It’s really been hard on me having a long distance relationship like this, especially without having a lot of my girl friends around.
I’m someone who will always need really close friends, even when I am married with kids. I so cherish the time I get to spend with my them — I love girly things like makeup, crafts, baking, rom-coms, and, of course, talking about dating and cute guys. I’m lucky enough to have a few great girls to call my best friends, but relationships have changed and I’m still adjusting to the new dynamic of not necessarily having someone right around here when I need them.
I’m not really afraid to admit that I’ve felt like this because I think we’ve all been here at one point or another. I don’t want to hide the hard parts of my life on here, because I want to be genuine and really connect to the people who have taken the time to read and return to my site. Loneliness isn’t something that is in my life very often, but when it comes about I try my best to be good company for myself and learn new things that I might not otherwise have time for. Lately I have been doing a lot of writing and practicing some magic tricks — a hobby very few people know I really enjoy.
Today’s lesson: I have talked to a lot of people the past few years who have felt like this, so just know that when you do feel a twinge of loneliness that we’re all in the same boat together. Taylor Swift’s song “22” says it best that twentysomethings can be, “Happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way.” I wouldn’t change being in my twenties for anything right now, even if it can sometimes be a challenge. The people I do have in my life are amazing, and I’m looking forward to making new friends and growing in those relationships, too. Life is sometimes just what you make it, and you can always make time to grow as an individual, even when you do feel a little unsure of your footing.