If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say

Taking the plunge and making a YouTube channel actually taught me a lot about the importance of kindness and offered a peek into a new corner on the Internet. I feel fine about everything now, and learned that I can handle some not so nice criticism, but it also made me think a little about people who get nasty comments on a regular basis. It has to be so incredibly draining, so I hope to help people realize how much their words can influence another human being, and choose to use them to create more positivity in the world.

When I first started my quest to get Robert to meet Tom Brady I was all kinds of nervous. I hate being the center of attention. I don’t mind putting myself out there when it comes to my heart and feelings, but there’s something that scares me about putting my face and everything out there. I think it’s because I know I can really be clear in my writing, while public speaking hasn’t always been my greatest strength.

I knew some people would be rude about my reach to Tom Brady, but I didn’t anticipate the way I would feel when I did read something nasty. 99.9% of the people who said something about it were so kind, encouraging, and enthusiastic. The ones who weren’t, though, were either incredibly rude or mean, and most of the comments were really unnecessary.

Reaching out to Tom Brady asking him to do something nice for someone I love was not hurting anyone or taking anything away from another person. IF on the very off chance he had been able to do something like this, it would have been because he wanted to take some of his own limited free time to do it. I do understand that a quarterback of a successful team like the New England Patriots is busier than you or I have ever been, but it definitely isn’t up to me whether or not he responds to a video like this. I have seen celebrities do nice things for all kinds of people, even just “big fans” who don’t really have a rhyme or reason. My intention for making this video was lighthearted, and driven by love.

Moving forward, I would love to offer a checklist for people to consider before posting a critical comment online:

  1. Is what this person is doing hurting anyone?
  2. Will your comment contribute anything positive to the discussion, or is it just something snarky that you are thinking to yourself?
  3. How would you feel if someone said that to you?
  4. Finally, is this something you would say to someone in person, or is it just easy to say through a computer screen?

If you don’t have anything nice to say, think really hard about whether or not your comment is productive. Calling someone names, putting them down, or attacking them personally is never okay. Celebrities, models, comedians, and social media personalities all have feelings. There are very real people on the other end of the screen you are communicating through. I understand that they might not know you, but that means you also likely do not know their heart or what they might be dealing with in their lives. It is always safe to use the Golden Rule we all learned in Kindergarten: Treat others the way you want to be treated.


Today’s lesson: When in doubt exercise self-control. There is a reason Hemmingway said, “The pen is mightier than the sword.” Words can hurt and do a lot of damage. Yes, there are absolutely things that I see online that make me angry and upset. People have opinions different than my own, but at the end of the day that’s okay.  It’s actually what makes the world a better place and able to grow; we can learn so much from people with perspectives different than our own. As long as nobody is being hurt — mentally or physically — if someone does something silly on the Internet that’s their own business. Go to the next website and move on.

14 thoughts on “If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say

  1. Not to sound like a cliche idiot, but “you do you, boo”!

    People are always going to have opinions and unfortunately, the Internet provides certain protections that allows the true vileness of some people to come out. Luckily, I haven’t received too much negativity on my blog, but occasionally I’ll get a nasty email.

    You are a good person and you are going to root for who you love…
    …that is awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my gosh, you just completely made my day! Thanks for the kind comment; I agree that we have to keep being ourselves, even with some critics.

      I’m so glad you haven’t had too much negativity either. You seem like such a nice and genuine person, and totally deserve to have respect from your readers. So glad we met and can support one another! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ignore them. I know it’s frustrating but like our current climate we have to pick and choose our battles. Choose to ignore those that are saying mean things. You know what your intent was and it doesn’t matter what others think or believe. It’s your channel.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Such wise words, thank you for sharing!! That’s exactly what I decided to do… There’s no winning trying to argue with someone who isn’t being kind and respectful, and I think it’s important to never be cruel to someone, even if they are to you. Ignoring a comment — and deleting it if you are able — is the best way to keep the Internet a happy place.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Ugh I’m so sorry you had to deal with that! People can be so mean sometimes (and I don’t think they really think twice about it). I hope that hadn’t discouraged you to share your thoughts still! There are plenty of us who will be kind and listen to what you have to say (or just move along silently if they don’t like it!).


  3. The people on WordPress are so much nicer then people on other websites. When I first began blogging (on a different website) I got some hate and it’s easy for people to say don’t let it bother you but no one likes to be disrespected if they have any pride. You can just keep your head up and think about the bigger picture. Sometimes shutting off the comments feature can be a better option. I think you’re handling it very well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. For the life of me, I can’t even imagine how a person could find anything negative about what you were trying to do. Those people are miserable and are just looking for a reaction. I make a conscious effort to not read the comments section because I know it will just be a bunch of bitching and moaning.

    Liked by 1 person

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