Single And So Ready To Settle Down

Do you feel lonely this winter? Are you sick and tired of being single and seeing a-million-and-one proposals, weddings, and budding new relationships all over social media?

You are not alone.

I know it feels like it sometimes, but something I think is so important to remember is that the people who are super-single, frustrated with dating, or ready for marriage and a family but still looking for their partner in crime are not posting on Facebook about this. They are actually likely the majority on your friend list, but they’re a silent majority.

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If you feel frustrated for being single, don’t beat yourself up. Just because your heart wants companionship doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. We are built to love and be loved. That desire is so, so normal. Sure, there are people who never get married and still feel fulfilled, but the reality of it is most people eventually find love with a romantic partner and decide to tie the knot at one time or another. It’s not wrong to dream about having a life with someone you haven’t met yet, and it actually is okay to be actively seeking a relationship, as long as it’s not taking over your entire life.

Did you know that this is the first time in American history that more women are having children in their thirties than in their twenties? Yup — and that’s not just me trying to be comforting — check out the facts right here. The mean age of women going through their first pregnancy is now 28, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This is largely in part because they are also settling down later in life than they have in the past.

So if you’re reading this and in your late twenties or thirties and feel a little left out in the love department, remember that you are not running late, and you are not the minority. Often it’s the loudest people we notice the most, and that can craft an image in our heads of what we should be doing in our lives or what the majority looks like. Our perception becomes skewed based on the people who are making announcements, and we forget about those who are sitting in silence. People who are staying still or even struggling are far less likely to speak up about it. Those who haven’t yet found their special person just aren’t rambling about that on every Facebook and Instagram post.

I do think it’s important to keep up activities that you enjoy other than dating while you’re “shopping around” for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and it’s crucial to keep things as lighthearted and fun as possible in order to protect your heart until you know someone well enough to give them it one little piece at a time. You know how everyone always gives the annoyingly cliched advice that you’ll find the right person when you aren’t looking for them? This is often true — as I think opportunities pop up that we would never had dreamed up for ourselves — but I also think it’s great to keep putting a conscious effort into going after what we want, even if that’s a relationship. So go create a dating profile or sit next to the guy you’ve been crushing on from afar. Even though things often start happening when you stop worrying, it can never hurt to put yourself out there and be the very best version of you to prepare for the adventure of a lifetime with someone one day. Until then, though, remember that you’re never alone, and that there are so many people who can empathize with any struggles or frustrations that you have. Despite every human being incredibly unique from the next, our struggles are surprisingly so very similar.

10 thoughts on “Single And So Ready To Settle Down

  1. This is a really good reminder for any single girl. It’s so easy to feel like you’re alone and way too easy to compare your life to what you see on social media. I think that anyone who’s single right now but doesn’t want to, should put themselves put there like you said. Dating profiles, striking up a conversation with someone they like. But it should never consume them. If your only motivation in life is to find a significant other, then you’re never going to be happy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I agree with you completely! There is a good balance between enjoying dating around and trying to put yourself out there and still living your own life. It can definitely be challenging sometimes, but it’s totally worth feeling like you’re taking charge of your life as best you can. Did you meet your boyfriend online too?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ahhh oh my gosh that is SUCH a cool story!! That’s adorable and just goes to show you never know how the online dating is going to end up. I love that y’all have that in common and it’s cool to have some of your past intertwined like that.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this next sentence you wrote. “This is often true — as I think opportunities pop up that we would never had dreamed up for ourselves — but I also think it’s great to keep putting a conscious effort into going after what we want, even if that’s a relationship.” It’s a paradox isn’t it? It’s hard in anything worth pursuing not to overkill it, but you can’t just sit around and do nothing. I get it. Oh do I get it. Thank you Krista.

    Liked by 1 person

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