Krista Lauren

I don’t think that angels can hear thoughts the way God can, so I want my loved ones to talk to me out loud if I ever go before they do.

I’m thinking about this a little tonight because I am almost five months postpartum and just got my period. I didn’t talk about it much on here yet, but I had horrible postpartum hemorrhaging a week after having Joey. I could have easily died that night. The doctors working on me said it was the worst postpartum bleeding they had ever seen, and that I was passing softball-sized blood clots. It was horrible and I do not want to talk about it.

I do feel a bit freaked out because the last time I was bleeding and went to sleep, I woke up soaked in blood and didn’t stop bleeding literal buckets for hours. I am going to be brave and sleep tonight, but I’m not going to like it!

Anyway, I believe in angels. I am a Christian, and believe there’s a great life after this one. I think that God is always with me, and that I can talk to Him out loud or in my head (more often I “think” prayers than say them out loud). I don’t think angels are like this, though. I do think that God lets loved ones visit us on earth sometimes, and I wonder what they think and if it’s weird that they don’t know what we’re thinking about missing them and stuff. So I say things out loud sometimes to my grandma in case she ever visits and can see me. Or maybe there’s a little TV in heaven that she can watch little clips of when we have conversations about her, and me saying a quick “hello” makes it to the news for the month. I don’t know. We don’t know much about heaven, but I figure it can’t hurt.

So please, talk to me out loud if I’m ever gone first! I would definitely want to come back and visit and protect my boys. Hoping to have a long and beautiful life first, but just a late night thought as I dread to go to sleep while bleeding lightly. Stupid period, get lost. I’m not ready for you yet.