There are so many questions people ask me about dating or using apps that I decided to begin writing about the more popular ones.
Today I am going to focus on the twentysomething men and what not to do when reaching out to a female. These are a few things that I personally think guys should avoid doing on dating apps:
- Do not under any circumstance find a girl you see on a dating app on Facebook and “friend” her. This feels like such a violation of privacy and I will delete your request and swipe left on your profile. Be patient, sometimes we need a few days to respond. Which leads me to…
- Girls get a lot of messages on dating apps — like, dozens every day. Which means it can be difficult to respond to each and every one of them if you get buried in the mess. If a girl doesn’t reply to your message, politely send a follow-up and then move along to the next one.
- Don’t start conversations with just a short, “Hey.” It doesn’t give very much to respond to, and somehow doesn’t feel like you’re as interested as some of the other guys who craft more thoughtful openings.
- It isn’t a great idea to open a conversation with asking someone out for drinks that night right away. I prefer someone to get to know my personality a little bit better before going out, as I don’t like to be judged completely on my looks. It is also nice to plan at least a few days in advance — I don’t think many people are going to be free the same night you ask them to go out. I also have a reason I don’t think girls should accept an invitation like that, but I will give that in my next “tips” post.
- And finally, be respectful to people. I’ve been offered unappreciated “goods” on some of my accounts or called nasty names for not replying fast enough. Please try to remember that there is a person on the other end of the screen you are talking to, and that they deserve the same kind of respect you hope to be treated with. There are always a few bad seeds, but overall I believe most people are good.
Girls — do you all agree with these tips or am I mistaken about some of them?
Guys — have any of these techniques ever worked for you? I’d love for you to prove me wrong.
Shoot me a message on Facebook or write a comment on one of my posts to get your burning dating questions answered!
Krista Lauren 
ugh number 4 is everything. Someone will ask me what’s up, I’ll answer, and then they ask me for drinks! I have no idea who you even are!!
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Hahaha, I know right?! Like, what if I have a terrible personality? They wouldn’t know since we haven’t talked at all. 😛
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I know! I really don’t understand that, they’re a lot more brave than I am
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I love the way you worded that! Yes, they are much braver than me too.
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These are some really good tips. I definitely agree with number 4. If you ask me out for drinks only 2 or 2 messages in, I’m more than likely completely writing you off. I get not wanting to waste time and become pen pals with someone but I’d like to get to know you a little bit before we meet.
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Yeah, that’s a really good way of putting it! It’s not cool chatting with someone without the intention of meeting up, but asking right off the bat is a bit much.
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Nah you just gotta hit her with the “do you have any raisins? How about a date”
50% of the time it works every time
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Hahaha, hmm, that’s a new one! The main benefit I see in dating a guy who likes raisins, though, is that you finally have someone to help get rid of the gross oatmeal raisin cookies you picked up at a party because you thought they were chocolate chip. You, my friend, just became one of the most eligible bachelors in my book!
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