What Is Micro Cheating?

Apparently this is a new phrase that has been coined because of the dozens of tiny behaviors that some people turn to so that they can still feel loyal, but have fulfillment in one way or another outside their romantic relationship.

Cheating is wrong. Always.

I consider cheating an absolutely unforgivable offense, but I know certain couples can get past it. What about micro cheating, though?

Any kind of serious flirting outside a relationship, having a desire to be physically or emotionally connected with someone who isn’t your partner and forming a special place in your heart for someone else all constitute for micro cheating. Here is an example given from The Skimm, 

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With the rise of social media, there are a million small components that go into relationships. I speculate that one of the reasons divorce is becoming more prominent could be due to riffs with social media and being so connected to the rest of the world. I keep hearing that social media sites are often cited in divorce court, as it gives another place for infidelity and a place for indiscretions to occur. There are endless options of people you can meet online, as well as the perfectly crafted images that come along with them. Whether it’s an irresistibly funny personality or beautifully enhanced photos, there are so many options for wandering minds and eyes to go to when a marriage feels like it’s failing.

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Sadly, I feel like this is only the beginning of using loopholes to seek attention outside a committed relationship. When you start going to outside sources for some sort of fulfillment, you are severely hurting the process to repair the broken pieces of your relationship. Every single couple in the world is going to have some sort of disagreement or problem at one time or another. In fact, the longer you are with someone, the bigger the chance is some sort of issue is going to come up. It’s just a fact of life that people are all unique and going to make different decisions and mistakes. Dealing with them openly and directly with your partner offer opportunities for growth and compromise in a relationship, and can ultimately actually strengthen it.

Relationships are interesting because there isn’t a lot that is completely black and white; a lot of topics are more of a grayscale. There are definitely things that one person may uncomfortable with that others find totally fine in a relationship, and vice versa. What’s most important is that your significant other cares enough to work through every little bump in the road together. If you feel like micro cheating is a part of your relationship, there is still hope to get back on track.

If you are the micro cheater, cut the person you cross the faint little lines with out of your social life. If this person is at work with you, keep things professional and don’t find little reasons to be alone with them. Reevaluate your relationship and ask yourself why you don’t feel fulfilled in the romantic department, and seek couples counseling if necessary. The other alternative is always breaking off the relationship if it isn’t the right one. I actually don’t believe every single person in the world is cut out for a monogamous relationship, and if you fit that category, don’t settle down or get in a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with being single, and you won’t hurt people who’s hearts are built for monogamy.

If your partner is the micro cheater, decide whether or not you are comfortable with the behaviors they exhibit that you thought of when you read this article and make sure you’ve communicated to your partner that you aren’t comfortable with the way they’re treating someone else. Once they’ve been made aware of the problem you should begin to feel more comfortable with the way things are being treated moving forward. They should always make your feelings valid and care about your heart, even if you perceive something wrong. It’s a big red flag if your significant other doesn’t take your concerns seriously. This doesn’t mean they’re cheating per se, but it does mean that they don’t feel like it’s their responsibility to help take care of your heart, and that’s not what a serious partnership is about.

Despite cheating — micro or otherwise — being a pretty prevalent part of today’s society, all hope is not lost. I know my own heart and that I can’t have any of the feelings that I do for Robert for anyone else, and that I would never consider straying from the wonderful partner in crime I’ve committed myself to. This gives me hope for anyone who feels stuck because I know there are other “Krista’s” out there who think the same way as I do. Robert is one of them, as are so many of my friends and family members. Don’t give up your dream of having someone who only has eyes for you just because of one crappy experience. There are people out there who would be so, so excited and lucky to get to love you, and only you, so please don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. 

9 thoughts on “What Is Micro Cheating?

  1. I, having been the victim of infidelity in my former marriage, think this ‘micro-cheating’ is really a fishing experiment on the part of the supposedly committed partner who ‘micro-cheats’.

    They use the guise of just being friendly or whatever until a receiver bites the bait and then the ‘micro-cheater’ reals in their catch.

    Luckily most receivers aredecent folks and don’t take the bait from a married or committed person.

    Now I realize this isn’t 100% but…of all the cheaters I’ve met or been exposed too it has started right here. (And often times through social media.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so sorry to hear that, Nancy. I can’t imagine how hard and heartbreaking that must have been, but I hope your heart has healed and you’re happy again. They didn’t deserve you. 💕

      This is really smart insight though, and I almost wish I could have interviewed you before I did this post! It sounds like you have a lot of wisdom to share, and I think people don’t really take microcheating advances as seriously as they could. The way I see it, there isn’t anyone else I have in the world I would want to share romantic or flirtatiousness with other than my own significant other.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. AH! This was one of my favorite posts of yours! I think it is very adult & strong of you to be able to talk about things you don’t necessarily agree with (non-monogamous people existing, etc). I get very one track minded & sometime shut out opinions that don’t mesh with my views. You help me re-realize there is room in the world for everyone’s thoughts, even if they make no sense to me. I’m trying to be less judgmental this year – so thank you!
    PS. “I actually don’t believe every single person in the world is cut out for a monogamous relationship.” This helps me tie up some loose ends with someone I once knew. I love you for saying it. .xo. Can’t wait to hear about your wedding planning!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much girl, reading your comment totally just made my day!! You are always so kind and encouraging. 🙂

      It can totally be hard to see other people’s point of view sometimes! I’m hyper aware of feelings and sometimes don’t understand how some people aren’t aware of how their actions can affect others, but then I realize how great it is that there are people who can just put their head to the ground and get work done without getting too invested in people’s hearts. There’s definitely a reason people are created differently and we are pretty lucky to have people who have other strengths!

      I am glad you could tie up some loose ends with someone in your past, though. Not having closure is one of the toughest things people have to deal with in breakups and stuff, but honestly just realizing that someone isn’t cut out to date you (for whatever reason!) makes things so much easier. And I do strongly believe some people just can’t settle down. If that was your guy you are so, so lucky you realized that before committing to him further! You deserve someone who will love you completely and take care of your heart. ❤

      Hope you’re doing well and thank you for reading and sharing with me!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I hadn’t heard of the term micro-cheating until now. It sounds like a case where a relationship is lacking communication. You’re looking to the acquaintance to give you some sort of attention that is not present in your relationship.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah, I agree 100%!! I think it’s a lack of communication and possibly a wrong matchup. If someone doesn’t know how to speak your love language to you and isn’t willing to work on it, you can find another person who will for sure!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow… it is so sad that these terms have to even exist. Being faithful to the person you love should be a conscious choice everyday. —https://emilyryannblogblog.wordpress.com/

    Liked by 2 people

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